Nearing the end of my notes from David Staal’s book, Words Kids Need to Hear. Here is #6 of 7 things my kids need to hear from me.
#6…
“No”
Here are my takeaways…
- Be the Adult, Care Too Much: While a kid typically won’t enjoy the limitations that come his way, their existence will help him feel secure. The reason: he knows that someone cares for him and stands committed to his well-being.
- Be Willing to Do Something: The average parent reminds a child nine times before taking action. When your action follows the ninth request, you teach the child that he can ignore the first eight.
- Know How to Resist: Consider how many decisions are made, or not made, because a parent fears a child’s reaction
- Sunday school teachers or youth ministry workers face a real temptation to tolerate otherwise inappropriate behavior in an effort to appear cool to their charges and thereby win acceptance – in the name of ministry, of course.
- Betsy Hart says, “If we do not train our children as youngsters to appropriately submit to our loving authority, if instead we train their hearts in rebellion, then how will they be able to one day submit to the authority of their heavenly father? Practically speaking, this means our children have to actually hear the word ‘no’.”
This was a great chapter for me to read. Though I believe I have a good grasp on discipline in my home, I can see where I’ve allowed areas to slip. Where my inaction has given my kids perceived permission. I want my kids to learn how to obey their heavenly father. I want the gap between knowing His will and acting on His will to be very short.
Here is the question that rings in my mind…
Is my “no” respected and effective?
