Dan Scott started a great conversation here about phrases to quit using in kids ministry. Kenny Conley comments in that conversation about the process we go through as Christ followers. Here is what Kenny writes.
…I’ve become a lot more comfortable with the idea that becoming a Christ Follower for many people isn’t an alter call experience, but a process. I’ve talked to too many people who can’t tell you when they became a Christ Follower because it was more of a process for them... I’ve had parents get frustrated when their kids “asked Jesus in their heart” and they’d already done it before… Could it be that this is a process? Kids may have made a heart decision, but their mind still hasn’t caught up (they don’t completely comprehend)…
I’ve talked to many parents with teens that have ‘grown up’ in church. They stand before me confused because their daughter made a mistake and is now pregnant. Mom/dad look at me and say,
“She accepted Jesus when she was 6, she never missed a Sunday, we volunteered every Wednesday night… now my 16 yr old is pregnant. What happened?”
Are we offering a checklist? Are we giving them hoops to jump through?
Don’t miss church.
Bring your kids to our events.
Do this bible study.
Pray this prayer.
We forget sometimes that mom/dad want to do this thing right. If we throw a perceived ‘recipe for success’ out there, are we inviting parents to assume that following the recipe will produce the perfect child? Or at least a child with no MAJOR issues like teen pregnancy, social drinking, or addiction to 80’s hair band music.
I question our approach often. I work to explain to mom/dad that choosing Christ is a series of discoveries and decisions. It begins with discovering what He did for us and why. Then continues with decisions… the everyday, ordinary decision of choosing what He says is best verses what we think is best.
Is anyone else (parent or Children’s pastor) wrestling this down?
Tonight I spoke with a group of parents participating in our Child Dedication experience. This is how I feel after I speak to a crowd. I’m highly critical of myself and typically battle insecurity in the aftermath.
I’ve learned to pray for the things God was in to ’stick’ and the things God was not in to fall away and be forgotten. (like my cracks about Oprah parenting tips!)
Please pray for our families. Pray that God would inspire His vision for His glory.
Thank you, friends, for all your prayer, comments and support.
