Here is #3 of the 5 Parenting Skills.  If you want to catch up click here.

Parenting Skill #3 is:

Create a Rhythm

Deuteronomy 6: 6-7 says, “Get them inside of you and then get them inside your children.  Talk about them wherever you are, sitting at home or walking in the street…”

Create rhythms (or habits) in your home.  Rhythms are the constant themes that weave your family together.  One example of a rhythm is family time. Time together as a family is easy to do when the kids are young.  As they grow older, there are other things that fight for their time like friends, school, athletics, and other activities.  Increase the quantity of quality time. Create the habit of spending time together.

If you are the strongest influence in your child’s life then you’ve got to create the time to be that influence.

Your kids will have questions.  They’re looking for someone to ask.  Increase the chances they’ll ask you.  Create rhythms (or habits) where you have opportunity to talk about what God is doing.

In a previous post, ‘Using the Kid for Bait’, we agree that Child Dedications is a great time to grab parents attention.  Why?  Because they’re hungry for information… AND they’re not yet disillusioned with their ability to parent.

I said it.  And I own it.

After 9 years of parenting, I know my weaknesses.  I know my tendencies.  I’m slightly disillusioned with my ability to navigate the parental waters.  Sometimes I walk away from a parental encounter and I know I’ve done a good job.  Other times I walk away as baffled as my child.

Did I make the right decision?  Am I expecting too much of him?  Am I expecting enough?

So, I love to get with parents that have only been parents  for 5 minutes.  They’re so raw in the “I don’t want to mess this up” phase.  They’re willing to try something new and they still have enough faith in themselves to believe they can do it!  And if I have their attention, I want to shift their paradigm.

Many parents in my community parent with their eyes wide shut.  They just don’t realize that by doing what every other family is doing ultimately tears their family apart.   When I get mom/dad’s attention… Goal #1 is to open their eyes to their role as parent.  I open scripture to the all-familiar Deut 6:4-7 and walk them through the picture it paints.  A picture of  a family (not a church staff/volunteer/VBS/summer camp/bible study group) learning how to love the Lord their God with all their heart, mind and strength.   I keep it in simple terms, simple actions, simple processes that all result in a family invested in God and invested in each other.

Next week I’ll share more about the parenting skills I learned from ReThink that help give a framework to Deut 6.

I’m Guest Blogging this week with on Swerve with the Kendra Golden.  Don’t miss it!

The chapter that impacted me the most from David Staal’s book, Words Kids Need to Hear.  Here is #4 of 7 things my kids need to hear from me.

#4…

“I’m sorry, please forgive me”

Here are my swift kicks in the behind…

• Authentic authority flows from respect, and sincere apologies foster the connectedness and trust that is necessary for it to lovingly evolve.
• Children tend to treat people the way they are treated.
• The humility we need comes from a simple truth – everyone messes up and has reasons to apologize.  Even to kids.  When you approach life convinced of your fallibility, a humble attitude will follow.  Just don’t get arrogant about it.
• If the thought “I should apologize” comes to mind, then act on it; that’s your heart talking.
• Act sooner than later.  An apology sometimes arrives too late to have full impact.
• Speak clearly and concisely.  Limit your words.  Work hard to resist the urge to offer excuses and preserve the power of the moment.
• Disappointment with mom or dad is tough for a kid to handle.
• Parents need to give children opportunities to develop an ability to freely forgive.  He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love.

I needed a breather after that chapter.