I’m a ministry ‘rookie’.  Less than 10 years.

And there are certain things I don’t understand about church.

We don’t always like to deal with problems.

As Christ-followers, it seems we expect the challenges of life to wrap themselves up and resolve as quickly as the 30-minute sitcoms we grew up watching.  When someone reveals a problem we fire a combination of scripture hoping to vanquish it like the foe in a video game.  We’re not always comfortable with process when someone deals with life’s twists and turns.

Genesis 32 reveals a story of Jacob wrestling with God.  For years I read that story and figured Jacob got what he deserved.  You wrestle with God and you’ll walk away with a limp!

Don’t wrestle with God!!

I’m rethinking that now.

God blessed Jacob.  Made him the father of nations.  Why is that?  I don’t know.  I have no doubt commentators have written on this for years.  I have no new revelations here.  But today I look at the wrestle differently.

Jacob never let go of God.

He fought to hang on.  It had to be an ugly fight.  Not the pansy, stand-back-and-slap-a-little, kind of fight.  If he was relentless enough that the angel realized he wouldn’t overpower Jacob… I’d say Jacob was fighting to hang on to God no matter the cost.

I think when God is weeding out deeply rooted stuff there is going to be a wrestle and church needs to be a safe place for that wrestle to happen.  What does that mean?

It means messy things like broken marriages, sexual addictions, the loss of a loved one, disease, disability…  some will wrestle with God for years as they learn to give their pain/their sin/their will over to Him.

I think the point of blessing came because Jacob never gave up.  In fact, that was the moment God renamed him Israel (God-wrestler).

Do you ever compare yourself to others? I do. I’ll go ahead and admit that I sometimes try and size up people in the first few minutes with one standard-bearing question: Are they better than me, or am I better than them? It’s all very subjective, I don’t literally wonder if I’m a better person than someone; but I do wonder if my house is bigger, if my salary is larger, if my church is more heavily attended, if my marriage is healthier, and any other way that I could possibly walk away with a win in this dangerous “compare game.”

Now that you’ve lost total respect for me as a human being, let me say that I believe when you are left to your own human devices, that you are the exact same way. Think about it, how do you feel when you come back from a mission trip where you saw children without adequate clothes and housing? You feel terrible and sad, and leave with an appreciation for NOT being where they are, doing what they are doing. And how do you feel when you leave the dinner party of some fabulously rich medical professional? You feel terrible and sad, and leave with an appreciation for all they have that I do NOT have yet. If you’re not this person, then thank God for people like you.

As I’ve matured and grown to accept my place in the world (cue the Michael W. Smith song), I’ve learned to rise above this stupid “Compare Game.” I’m grown tired of trying to measure myself against the things and people I have no control over. As I read 2 Corinthians 10:12 from The Message Bible, I’m reminded that to compare myself with others is totally missing the point.

2 Corinthians 10:12 “But in all this comparing and grading and competing, they quite miss the point.”

Here are four reasons why the “Compare Game” is a losing proposition:

1. I unfairly compare myself to others. I can’t compare my 2 year journey through Bible College with the Doctor that spent 10 years in medical school. Apples and oranges my friend.
   
2. I compare the GAINS of others and not the LOSSES. We do such a great job sometimes of covering the losses of others, and only seeing the positive. Some people have much more than me, because they’ve given up much more than me.
   
3. I tend to overlook my own personal success. I have been good at some things, but when I play the compare game I’m often leaving my own success hidden in the background.
   
4. I disapprove of my own choices. When I fail to take ownership of my own choices in life, then it become easy to be the loser when playing the compare game.

On this great journey of being myself, may the Lord help me to see myself in the light of his wonderful grace and never-ending mercy. I’m striving to only compare myself with the perfect one, Jesus. In this game I always fall short, but it has never kept me from Him.

i got on a rant today.  someone asked for my 2 cents… i gave a little extra.

a friend receieved an email from someone asking his opinion on divorce.  here was the question

Do you think it’s possible for God to allow a married couple (even after trying very hard to fix things) to fight so much to the point that they desperately want their single lives back, in order  to make the point that He didn’t want them to be together in the first place? 

i admit, i’ve never been in this place.  i cannot speak from experience.  but as a woman married for 14 years… here were my thoughts.

Whether God did or did not want them together at this point is no longer relevant.  If you made the wrong decision at ‘square one’, He will not draw you back to square one to remake the decision.  Instead He’ll start from where you are. 

I would question how much they’ve worked on their marriage.  How long?  How have they invested?  Counseling?  Mentoring? 

I have a seriously hard time believing that if they both truly wanted to make this work and were willing to throw off everything that hinders them in order to make it work that God won’t bless that.  God is the author of “that lovin’ feeling”.  So if they’ve lost it towards each other then they need to seek the only One that can give it back. 

It’s not an overnight solution.  It may take a long time.  But they have no kids.  They have only their jobs.  From my perspective they’ve got a lot of free time to focus on the right things that will make the relationship work.  

Whether or not God wanted them to become ‘one’ in marriage is irrelevant.  They are now one.  They need to do whatever is necessary to function as one rather than seeking validation to walk away from that.  

like i said… my two cents.  what would you say?