Dan Scott started a great conversation here about phrases to quit using in kids ministry.  Kenny Conley comments in that conversation about the process we go through as Christ followers.  Here is what Kenny writes.

…I’ve become a lot more comfortable with the idea that becoming a Christ Follower for many people isn’t an alter call experience, but a process. I’ve talked to too many people who can’t tell you when they became a Christ Follower because it was more of a process for them... I’ve had parents get frustrated when their kids “asked Jesus in their heart” and they’d already done it before… Could it be that this is a process? Kids may have made a heart decision, but their mind still hasn’t caught up (they don’t completely comprehend)…

I’ve talked to many parents with teens that have ‘grown up’ in church.  They stand before me confused because their daughter made a mistake and is now pregnant.  Mom/dad look at me and say,

“She accepted Jesus when she was 6, she never missed a Sunday, we volunteered every Wednesday night… now my 16 yr old is pregnant.  What happened?”

Are we offering a checklist?  Are we giving them hoops to jump through?

Don’t miss church.

Bring your kids to our events.

Do this bible study.

Pray this prayer.

We forget sometimes that mom/dad want to do this thing right.  If we throw a perceived ‘recipe for success’ out there, are we inviting parents to assume that following the recipe will produce the perfect child? Or at least a child with no MAJOR issues like teen pregnancy, social drinking, or addiction to 80’s hair band music.

I question our approach often.  I work to explain to mom/dad that choosing Christ is a series of discoveries and decisions.  It begins with discovering what He did for us and why.  Then continues with decisions… the everyday, ordinary decision of choosing what He says is best verses what we think is best.

Is anyone else (parent or Children’s pastor) wrestling this down?

We recently celebrated Baptisms at LifeChurch.tv.  My passion centers around equipping parents for the long haul, so I lean toward providing ‘tools’ for them rather than just doing it myself.  I love the idea of mom/dad having a rich God-conversation on the playground… like baptism.  If I can give them the right questions to ask along with the right responses to look for, they can make a determination regarding their child’s readiness for these milestones.

The last baptism weekend was touching when a dad approached me right before his daughter’s baptism.  He said,

Three weeks ago my 8 year old asked about salvation.  I was able to go to LifeKIDS.tv, find information about salvation, have a great conversation with my little girl then lead her through a prayer to ask Jesus into her life.  Last week she wanted to know about baptism.  Again, I went to LifeKIDS.tv and found information about baptism.  Today I’m baptizing my daughter because she wants everyone to know what God has done.  I want you to know what you have done.  You empowered me to have conversations with my daughter I never thought I could have.  Thank you

That was amazing.  And he has no idea how much that meant to hear.

I need to learn more…

As a parent, what additional tools can your kids ministry leaders put in your hands?

As a ministry leader, what tools do you offer your parents?

Parenting Skill #1 is…

Imagine the End

Deuteronomy 6:4 says, “…Love God, your God, with your whole heart; love him with all that’s in you, love him with all you’ve got! “

Society teaches us the goal of parenting is to produce a well-rounded child.  But scripture teaches us our goal is to raise a child that loves Jesus with everything they have.  In kids ministry, it’s important we help parents to imagine their child at 18, 19, 20 years old then ask the question…  “What is your goal?”

Moses told the Israelites then later Jesus repeats it to the teachers of the law…

Love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, mind and strength.

Of all the things we want for our kids, teaching them to love God with all they should be our single-minded focus.  All else will fall into place.

Do you ever compare yourself to others? I do. I’ll go ahead and admit that I sometimes try and size up people in the first few minutes with one standard-bearing question: Are they better than me, or am I better than them? It’s all very subjective, I don’t literally wonder if I’m a better person than someone; but I do wonder if my house is bigger, if my salary is larger, if my church is more heavily attended, if my marriage is healthier, and any other way that I could possibly walk away with a win in this dangerous “compare game.”

Now that you’ve lost total respect for me as a human being, let me say that I believe when you are left to your own human devices, that you are the exact same way. Think about it, how do you feel when you come back from a mission trip where you saw children without adequate clothes and housing? You feel terrible and sad, and leave with an appreciation for NOT being where they are, doing what they are doing. And how do you feel when you leave the dinner party of some fabulously rich medical professional? You feel terrible and sad, and leave with an appreciation for all they have that I do NOT have yet. If you’re not this person, then thank God for people like you.

As I’ve matured and grown to accept my place in the world (cue the Michael W. Smith song), I’ve learned to rise above this stupid “Compare Game.” I’m grown tired of trying to measure myself against the things and people I have no control over. As I read 2 Corinthians 10:12 from The Message Bible, I’m reminded that to compare myself with others is totally missing the point.

2 Corinthians 10:12 “But in all this comparing and grading and competing, they quite miss the point.”

Here are four reasons why the “Compare Game” is a losing proposition:

1. I unfairly compare myself to others. I can’t compare my 2 year journey through Bible College with the Doctor that spent 10 years in medical school. Apples and oranges my friend.
   
2. I compare the GAINS of others and not the LOSSES. We do such a great job sometimes of covering the losses of others, and only seeing the positive. Some people have much more than me, because they’ve given up much more than me.
   
3. I tend to overlook my own personal success. I have been good at some things, but when I play the compare game I’m often leaving my own success hidden in the background.
   
4. I disapprove of my own choices. When I fail to take ownership of my own choices in life, then it become easy to be the loser when playing the compare game.

On this great journey of being myself, may the Lord help me to see myself in the light of his wonderful grace and never-ending mercy. I’m striving to only compare myself with the perfect one, Jesus. In this game I always fall short, but it has never kept me from Him.

if we serve a God that exists outside of time then the death of Christ is not necessarily something of His past.  but in some twisted way is still part of His present.

i don’t understand that.

does Jesus still hear the hammer pounding the nail?  does He still taste the gall on His tongue?  is God still watching every drop of blood trickle down the post?

and yet He looks at me and says I am worth it.

sobering

it amazes me just how unceremonious God-moments can be. and yet they are no less God ordained, amazing moments.

sitting at lunch with my daughter, between bites of her ham sandwiches, she asks, “mom, what’s sin?”

me… “honey, you know what sin is.”

josie… “you mean, things we do that are wrong?”

me… “pretty much.”

josie… “mom, i’ve sinned.”

me… “i know. so have i.”

josie… “but Jesus, he never sinned.”

slowly josie begins connecting the dots. she’s heard it before. she knows the story. but that day she understood this applied to her. and she had a decision to make.

so she asked Jesus into her life… over a ham sandwich

that’s pretty cool

The phrase ‘Return On Investment’ is a key player in todays economy. No one wans to waste their resources.

We use MapQuest to find the most efficient route because we want to maximize our time.

We brag over bargains, drive an extra mile for a better gas price, and steal our neighbors Bed, Bath and Beyond coupon out of their mailbox in order to maximize our money.

(i can neither confirm nor deny the theft of any BB&Y coupon from said neighbor’s mailbox. that would be illegal. that’s not how i roll.)

Bottom line…

We want the best return for our investment.

If that is true, then why in the world do churches continue to disregard the kids church experience?

Here’s where I’m coming from…

A friend of mine traveled back home to visit family.  While there, they made the traditional trek to church on Sunday morning. Her two children ended up sitting in adult church with their parents b/c children’s church was cancelled. Why? Because the woman teaching was sick.  

That is sad.

So, the long and short of it is…  this church was not prepared for a great opportunity.  They weren’t positioned to get the most out of their time.  Why?

Of the 50 people sitting in the church pews that morning, there were 10 people with the greatest potential to say yes to Jesus… 10 people with more opportunities lying ahead of them to share Jesus… 10 people with the most potential to see more people come to faith in Jesus than walked on this earth a century ago.  Those 10 people happened to be from 6 to 12 years old.  

But who is the message geared toward? The 40 half-way-to-the-finish-line adults? Or the 10 just-past-the-starting-line kids?

Time is a commodity you can spend but never recover.  So, in this scenario… what’s the better return on investment? 

The same old worship experience for the adults?  Or a tweaked experience that incorporates the kids… one that ensures they understand the teaching?

Are you a small church without the resources for a full-blown kids ministry?  That’s okay.  It just means you do things a little differently.  You don’t have to look like every other church out there.  In fact… maybe God doesn’t want you to look like every other church out there.

Look different.  

Be different.  

The majority of churches in America are not exactly producing fully sold-out rock-your-face-off Christ followers.  

Maybe we need to quit telling parents how to raise their kids to follow Jesus and show them what it looks like.

Maybe we need to turn the church experience into an actual, hands-on workshop.

Maybe we need to shake things up.

Jesus is Republican.  At least that’s what most Republicans want you to believe.  Before you email me… I’m a registered Republican.  Just find it funny how much we like to throw around our connection with Christ.  :)

Technology -I love the benefits of technology.  I really want to be ‘up’ on the latest stuff.  I even have an iGoogle tab with  tech feeds to keep me in the loop.  But I rarely click the feeds.  And on the rare occassion that I do, I don’t make it past the 2nd sentence.  Then it just sounds like charlie brown’s teacher talking.  wah, wah, wah.  I’m too ADD for that stuff.
“Great Vienna!” – I’m an OSU fan. Met my husband at OSU. Got married in Stillwater. Spent many nights listening to Bill Teegins calling the game. Bill is one of the guys killed in a plane crash back in 2005. I miss Bill. Don’t like the new guy. He keeps saying, “Great Vienna!”. Why ya’ gotta’ ruin the play by yelling, “Great Vienna!”?? I’m just sayin’.

it aint right!