Check me out doing this all in sequence.  What’s up with that?!?  Usually I toss in a few random posts just to keep you guessing.  Not so, this time.  Let’s keep rolling.  If you missed the first two, you can catch up here.

Skill #3:  Dialogue with God

The environments created at home and at church will be one of the first places children and teenagers learn to pray

Talking with God is not a difficult thing to demonstrate.  Actually doing it is the secret.  Though mealtime prayers are a ritual in many homes; breakfast, lunch and dinner are not the only times to dialogue with God.  We don’t stop talking to our kids at breakfast, do we?

Here’s a fun idea to establish a habit of prayer with your kids:

Every time the bell rings at school, just say hello to God.

It draws them back to a focus on Him and encourages an opportunity to talk with Him.

As a Christ-follower, what could serve as a constant reminder to just say hello to God?

As a parent, ministry leader/volunteer, what ideas do you have that would teach a Christ-follower the habit of dialogue with God?

I’ll leave you with this little nugget.  Who could resist. 

Do you ever compare yourself to others? I do. I’ll go ahead and admit that I sometimes try and size up people in the first few minutes with one standard-bearing question: Are they better than me, or am I better than them? It’s all very subjective, I don’t literally wonder if I’m a better person than someone; but I do wonder if my house is bigger, if my salary is larger, if my church is more heavily attended, if my marriage is healthier, and any other way that I could possibly walk away with a win in this dangerous “compare game.”

Now that you’ve lost total respect for me as a human being, let me say that I believe when you are left to your own human devices, that you are the exact same way. Think about it, how do you feel when you come back from a mission trip where you saw children without adequate clothes and housing? You feel terrible and sad, and leave with an appreciation for NOT being where they are, doing what they are doing. And how do you feel when you leave the dinner party of some fabulously rich medical professional? You feel terrible and sad, and leave with an appreciation for all they have that I do NOT have yet. If you’re not this person, then thank God for people like you.

As I’ve matured and grown to accept my place in the world (cue the Michael W. Smith song), I’ve learned to rise above this stupid “Compare Game.” I’m grown tired of trying to measure myself against the things and people I have no control over. As I read 2 Corinthians 10:12 from The Message Bible, I’m reminded that to compare myself with others is totally missing the point.

2 Corinthians 10:12 “But in all this comparing and grading and competing, they quite miss the point.”

Here are four reasons why the “Compare Game” is a losing proposition:

1. I unfairly compare myself to others. I can’t compare my 2 year journey through Bible College with the Doctor that spent 10 years in medical school. Apples and oranges my friend.
   
2. I compare the GAINS of others and not the LOSSES. We do such a great job sometimes of covering the losses of others, and only seeing the positive. Some people have much more than me, because they’ve given up much more than me.
   
3. I tend to overlook my own personal success. I have been good at some things, but when I play the compare game I’m often leaving my own success hidden in the background.
   
4. I disapprove of my own choices. When I fail to take ownership of my own choices in life, then it become easy to be the loser when playing the compare game.

On this great journey of being myself, may the Lord help me to see myself in the light of his wonderful grace and never-ending mercy. I’m striving to only compare myself with the perfect one, Jesus. In this game I always fall short, but it has never kept me from Him.

Continuing the discussion on David Staal’s book, Words Kids Need to Hear,  there are 7 things my kids need to hear from me.

#2…

“You Can Count On Me”

• …become great at keeping commitments to your child.  Big or small.  Short term or long term.
• Our children benefit more from our ability to be ‘present’ than they do from being rushed off to one more activity.  Try to slow down.
• Sometimes words kids really need to hear are those they say to a parent willing to listen.
• National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse says teens from families that almost never eat dinner together are 72% more likely than an average teen to use illegal drugs, cigarettes and alcohol.

right?

i’m all about the formula.  i want to know what steps to take to get the results i want.  from the book i’m reading to ensure a high level of productivity in my job all the way down to the recipe i’m using tonight to cook dinner.  

(who’s laughing!  i cook… occassionally)

 the recipe is a formula promising that if i follow the directions carefully i too can create a culinary masterpiece.  thus the results i want.

there are formulas taught by others growing up that i’ve learned don’t always work.  here are a few…

my grandparents taught me that if i get a good job, work hard until retirement then social security and pension will take care of me through the ‘golden years’  

(job + hard work = financial security)

my parents taught me that if i go to a good college, choose a degree plan, land a job in that field then i’ll have the career i want and be happy

(good college + the right degree = your dream career)

many of us know how much these formulas do not work.  yet, we buy into them b/c they are a great measuring stick.  something to look at and see just how well you’re measuring up.  

although we know these formulas are not reality, there are a few parents continue to buy into that simply aren’t true.  try these one on for size.

right neighborhood + right school + right sports = well-rounded child

church on sunday mornings + church on wednesday nights + baptism + attendance at other church functions = Christ follower that may make minor mistakes but none that are particularly earth shattering such as teen pregnancy, DUI, or addiction to porn.  

let me break it to you gently.  these formulas don’t work either.  so forget them.  

here’s is what i’m learning today.  

love the Lord my God with all my heart, soul, mind and strength

love my neighbor as myself

teach my kids to do the same

leave the rest to God

As a pastor I confess that my job can get in the way of my family.  It’s an ongoing challenge to ensure my family comes before my ministry.  There are moments I do that well… and moments I do not.

Last week I had a moment that I did not.

Though numbers are not the focus, we certainly track attendance as a barometer to help us determine the success/effectiveness of an event.  With goals set, we chase those ‘carrots’ all year long with the best intentions.  One such goal is to maintain strong attendance in our discipleship program from August to May.

Why do you need to know this?  Setting the stage, I guess.

Last week was the first week of school.  Josie started the 1st grade.  She was puh-umped.

All day school… Lunch in the cafeteria… more nervous energy than she knew what to do with.

It was also the first day of KONNECT.  (KONNECT is our kids discipleship program.) Now that Josie is 6 years old, she gets to participate in KONNECT.  Again, she was puh-umped.

After picking the kids up from school, we ran some errands, horked down grabbed some dinner and headed off to church.  Josie was borderline psychotic clearly tired by the time we arrived at church.  She’d had a few melt-downs since leaving school.  I debated on the wisdom of sending her to church and thus being up 2 hours past her bedtime.  I envisioned the following morning and the probability of outbursts that register on the Richter scale.

Despite the wisdom of just keeping her home and allowing her opportunity to rest, I took her to church.

Why?

Numbers.

If she wasn’t there, it would count against our numbers.

Like I said, sometimes I do a good job of putting my family first… and then there are moments like these. 

(Cue music as she is crowned ‘Mother of the Year’)

Sitting in the McDonald’s drive thru waiting to order a highly nutritious meal for my kids, I’m amused by the pictures on the drive-thru menu.

A perfectly assembled hamburger on a dinner plate sitting next to a bowl of fries. An elegant, sit-down meal.

It would be funny if it weren’t so ridiculous.

It’s the same smushed, less-than-picture-perfect, quasi-meat burger that’s about as healthy for you as a tapeworm.

Does sticking it on a dinner plate change anything?

You can put a pig in a gown and it doesn’t make it a princess.

It’s still a pig.

The Mother’s Day dining experience is a ritual set in place… jeez, I have no idea how, when or who… I don’t really care. Why did it become the standard to take your mom out for dinner (or lunch) for Mother’s Day?

I’m not a big advocate for taking my kids to a restaurant.

Why?

Because I want to enjoy the dining experience… and I want to enjoy my kids. And much of the time, the two don’t mix well.

I know… all you parents out there that say, ‘Train your child and they will learn to behave in a restaurant!’ I know. And believe me… my kids know how to act in a restaurant. But the fact remains… my 2-year old likes the freedom of movement he has at home.

But today we continued the ritual and we went to dine at the restaurant of my choice.

Connor choked and upchucked his dinner, and Josie had to visit the restroom every 5 minutes culminating in a ‘movement’ that induced a bloody nose. We left apologizing to our server (i.e. waitress, serving expert, dining experience engineer, whatever-they’re-called-now, etc), warned them of the chunky napkins and left the remaining food without taking it home.

Happy Mother’s Day

…called dinner.  Just can’t call it a day without that, right?

Some parents save for a college fund… we save for the counseling they’ll need for their abusive childhood.