My daughter is a lip-kisser.

My son is not.  You can kiss him on the cheek.  He’ll kiss you on the cheek.  No more… no less.

But if you’re going to get a kiss from my daughter, it’s going to be square on the lips.  As I tucked her into bed the other night I gave her the normal hug and kiss.

And she gave me more.

I could tell from the get-go this kiss was different.  She came at me with the lips primed and ready.  Planted those wet ones square on mine and even gave it a head swagger.

You know the kind I’m talking about.  The “I’ve-seen-daddy-do-this” prolonged smackeroo.

Oh-My-Word

Let me be clear for all those wondering… it was lips only.  No additional props used.  At the same time, let me reiterate…

Oh-My-Word

Any parenting experts out there have sage advice for this mother-daughter conversation?!?

This post from Henry Zonio made me think.  And I’m hoping to learn as he unpacks this.

This post from Dan Scott gave me hope… that we’re all trying to figure out the same stuff.

This post from Anthony Prince made me evaluate… can your Children’s Pastor take a Sunday off?

This post from Sam Luce was just a little controversial… and I hope more join the conversation.

This post from Jonathan Cliff made me laugh.  Wish I were that creative.

Why do you blog?  Link your faves here.  Or (better yet) blog some of your faves this week.

Dan Scott started a great conversation here about phrases to quit using in kids ministry.  Kenny Conley comments in that conversation about the process we go through as Christ followers.  Here is what Kenny writes.

…I’ve become a lot more comfortable with the idea that becoming a Christ Follower for many people isn’t an alter call experience, but a process. I’ve talked to too many people who can’t tell you when they became a Christ Follower because it was more of a process for them... I’ve had parents get frustrated when their kids “asked Jesus in their heart” and they’d already done it before… Could it be that this is a process? Kids may have made a heart decision, but their mind still hasn’t caught up (they don’t completely comprehend)…

I’ve talked to many parents with teens that have ‘grown up’ in church.  They stand before me confused because their daughter made a mistake and is now pregnant.  Mom/dad look at me and say,

“She accepted Jesus when she was 6, she never missed a Sunday, we volunteered every Wednesday night… now my 16 yr old is pregnant.  What happened?”

Are we offering a checklist?  Are we giving them hoops to jump through?

Don’t miss church.

Bring your kids to our events.

Do this bible study.

Pray this prayer.

We forget sometimes that mom/dad want to do this thing right.  If we throw a perceived ‘recipe for success’ out there, are we inviting parents to assume that following the recipe will produce the perfect child? Or at least a child with no MAJOR issues like teen pregnancy, social drinking, or addiction to 80′s hair band music.

I question our approach often.  I work to explain to mom/dad that choosing Christ is a series of discoveries and decisions.  It begins with discovering what He did for us and why.  Then continues with decisions… the everyday, ordinary decision of choosing what He says is best verses what we think is best.

Is anyone else (parent or Children’s pastor) wrestling this down?

I attended a leaders forum hosted by the ReThink group last October.  I tagged along with a few friends because I heard Sue Miller was leading it.  To be in a room with less than 100 people hearing from Sue Miller was a no-brainer in my book.

I learned a lot that one afternoon.  But she spent a few minutes sharing 5 points that have influenced every conversation I’ve had with parents since that day.

5 Parenting Skills to teach parents that will shape their relationship with the kids.

5 Skills that provide a framework to the scripture Deuteronomy 4:6-7.

5 simply skills that… if used… if they become habits… a way of life… will give a parent the kind of relationship with their kids they truly desire.

I’ll start by providing the skills, then unpack them in the next few posts.

#1  Imagine the End

#2  Keep it Personal

#3  Create a Rhythm

#4  Fight for the Heart

#5 Multiply your Influence

I think we’ll hear more about this at the Orange Conference 2009!  I’m bringing a big notebook. 

Leadership is a common theme at LifeChurch.tv.  It’s a significant part of our staff culture.  Look at my book shelf in my office and you’ll find a plethora of books with a leadership theme.  Check out my Google Reader and it’s loaded with leadership blogs to follow.  Though there is no official leadership training in our organization, it clearly shapes me and my role within LC.  I value the leadership investment I’ve received in the past 8 years.  Yet I’m in a season where I notice a trend in my leadership.  Understanding the value of leadership, I will  tackle hard conversations head on… dig into challenging situations.  But my pastoral approach isn’t where it could be.  This an area I want to grow in this year.

So… acknowledging that what I read strongly influences how I grow, I want to focus on pastoral care materials for a season. What pastoral care books do you recommend?