Dan Scott started a great conversation here about phrases to quit using in kids ministry.  Kenny Conley comments in that conversation about the process we go through as Christ followers.  Here is what Kenny writes.

…I’ve become a lot more comfortable with the idea that becoming a Christ Follower for many people isn’t an alter call experience, but a process. I’ve talked to too many people who can’t tell you when they became a Christ Follower because it was more of a process for them... I’ve had parents get frustrated when their kids “asked Jesus in their heart” and they’d already done it before… Could it be that this is a process? Kids may have made a heart decision, but their mind still hasn’t caught up (they don’t completely comprehend)…

I’ve talked to many parents with teens that have ‘grown up’ in church.  They stand before me confused because their daughter made a mistake and is now pregnant.  Mom/dad look at me and say,

“She accepted Jesus when she was 6, she never missed a Sunday, we volunteered every Wednesday night… now my 16 yr old is pregnant.  What happened?”

Are we offering a checklist?  Are we giving them hoops to jump through?

Don’t miss church.

Bring your kids to our events.

Do this bible study.

Pray this prayer.

We forget sometimes that mom/dad want to do this thing right.  If we throw a perceived ‘recipe for success’ out there, are we inviting parents to assume that following the recipe will produce the perfect child? Or at least a child with no MAJOR issues like teen pregnancy, social drinking, or addiction to 80’s hair band music.

I question our approach often.  I work to explain to mom/dad that choosing Christ is a series of discoveries and decisions.  It begins with discovering what He did for us and why.  Then continues with decisions… the everyday, ordinary decision of choosing what He says is best verses what we think is best.

Is anyone else (parent or Children’s pastor) wrestling this down?

I’m a ministry ‘rookie’.  Less than 10 years.

And there are certain things I don’t understand about church.

We don’t always like to deal with problems.

As Christ-followers, it seems we expect the challenges of life to wrap themselves up and resolve as quickly as the 30-minute sitcoms we grew up watching.  When someone reveals a problem we fire a combination of scripture hoping to vanquish it like the foe in a video game.  We’re not always comfortable with process when someone deals with life’s twists and turns.

Genesis 32 reveals a story of Jacob wrestling with God.  For years I read that story and figured Jacob got what he deserved.  You wrestle with God and you’ll walk away with a limp!

Don’t wrestle with God!!

I’m rethinking that now.

God blessed Jacob.  Made him the father of nations.  Why is that?  I don’t know.  I have no doubt commentators have written on this for years.  I have no new revelations here.  But today I look at the wrestle differently.

Jacob never let go of God.

He fought to hang on.  It had to be an ugly fight.  Not the pansy, stand-back-and-slap-a-little, kind of fight.  If he was relentless enough that the angel realized he wouldn’t overpower Jacob… I’d say Jacob was fighting to hang on to God no matter the cost.

I think when God is weeding out deeply rooted stuff there is going to be a wrestle and church needs to be a safe place for that wrestle to happen.  What does that mean?

It means messy things like broken marriages, sexual addictions, the loss of a loved one, disease, disability…  some will wrestle with God for years as they learn to give their pain/their sin/their will over to Him.

I think the point of blessing came because Jacob never gave up.  In fact, that was the moment God renamed him Israel (God-wrestler).