We recently celebrated Baptisms at LifeChurch.tv.  My passion centers around equipping parents for the long haul, so I lean toward providing ‘tools’ for them rather than just doing it myself.  I love the idea of mom/dad having a rich God-conversation on the playground… like baptism.  If I can give them the right questions to ask along with the right responses to look for, they can make a determination regarding their child’s readiness for these milestones.

The last baptism weekend was touching when a dad approached me right before his daughter’s baptism.  He said,

Three weeks ago my 8 year old asked about salvation.  I was able to go to LifeKIDS.tv, find information about salvation, have a great conversation with my little girl then lead her through a prayer to ask Jesus into her life.  Last week she wanted to know about baptism.  Again, I went to LifeKIDS.tv and found information about baptism.  Today I’m baptizing my daughter because she wants everyone to know what God has done.  I want you to know what you have done.  You empowered me to have conversations with my daughter I never thought I could have.  Thank you

That was amazing.  And he has no idea how much that meant to hear.

I need to learn more…

As a parent, what additional tools can your kids ministry leaders put in your hands?

As a ministry leader, what tools do you offer your parents?

I met my friend 6 years ago.  The night we met she was holding her 4 year old son in a meeting I was conducting.  As she held him, she rocked back and forth helping him through one of many siezures he’d had that day.  At 4 years old, he was like a toddler in her arms.  She explained to me the medical challenges her son faced on a daily basis.  But she struck me so differently than most parents I know whose child has special needs.  She had joy.

Don’t get me wrong.  She wasn’t talking about her son’s condition with laughter in her voice.  She simply shared what he deals with on a daily basis and how they walk through it.  There was no resentment towards others… no expectation that she should be recognized for their strife.  Just a simple recognition that their situation looks different than most, yet God is steadily walking them through it.

Six years later the story is much the same.  That little boy is 10 years old now.  He went through a significant surgical procedure during the Thanksgiving holiday.  Though they hoped to be out of the hospital in time for Thanksgiving, that didn’t happen.  Were they upset?  Initially… yeah.  That’s not what they expected.  But they didn’t remain there.

Instead they looked to God asking why He had them in the hospital that holiday rather than home with their family.  Who did God want them to meet?  As sure as day, God brought an encounter with a family that didn’t know Christ.  In their interaction there was opportunity to share the love of Christ.

This amazes me.  If it were me, I would sit stewing in that hospital room angry with God and everyone else enjoying their homemade turkey dinners.  But my friend has learned through her son that life is not about her.  It’s about God’s glory.  She’s learned not to dwell on the negative but instead turn her heart toward the positive.  This isn’t just feel-good psychology.  This is a steadfast faith.

Though her son is 10 years old and his medical prognosis isn’t favorable, she genuinely prays everyday that he will walk.  That he will talk to them.  That she will experience his arms holding her rather than hers holding him.  She prays for what God can do in her son.  The lives for what God is doing in her.

Fostering an environment where kids learn about Jesus can be a challenging task.  Introduce a child with special needs to the mix and the task can get a little more complicated. Some churches find themselves without a plan and (therefore) without a solution when this family arrives at their church.

I’ve been in kids ministry for a brief time, but in that time I’ve encountered a variety of special needs kids and their families. The most common things I’ve witnessed are…

• Parents – They need to know their child is welcome, loved and accepted.  Period.
• Volunteers – They need as much support and information as possible.
• Kids – They need consistency (and ditto bullet #1)

Each one is necessary for any family and their child but are vital for a child with special needs.

What is your ministries approach to special needs?

We love volunteers that capture the vision, get excited and jump in with both feet.

But sometimes even the boldest person can get hurt.  How do you prepare volunteers for ministry?

A couple in our church went on a MicroMission and served a group of women in a rehab facility.  Relationships were fostered and connections were made.  This couple was so pumped to be a part of what God was doing, they were open to helping in any way they could.  When they learned that many of the women in this facility wanted to attend church, the couple went out and purchased a 15-passenger van.  For months they’ve taxied women and children back and forth to church on the weekends.  It’s a cool story.

Ministry would be great if that’s what it always looked like.  But the reality is, this couple is ministering to a very broken group of people and a few of them have taken advantage.  And it causes pain and doubt.

When a volunteer sees a need, grabs the bull by the horns and jumps in to help… heart and soul… we celebrate.  But what do you do when the bull begins to gore?

Lead them spiritually.

I mean, really lead them.

You have volunteers in your ministry that are there because they want to make a difference.

You have volunteers in your ministry that are there because they were told they’re supposed to serve.

There is a big difference between the two.

One is there out of obedience to a calling. And that calling is what carries them through the challenges of ministry.

The other is there out of obedience, as well.  That willingness gets them in the door, but it won’t likely carry them through the challenges they’ll face in ministry.

No matter where your volunteer is… the goal is the same.  They need (and want) to grow spiritually.

How often do we hear in ministry circles about the concept of “ministering out of the overflow”.  Do you share that concept with your volunteers?  Do you lead them to do the same?

There is a big difference between a kids experience lead by a volunteer team that is ministering out of the overflow of what God is actively doing in their lives… and one that is not.

So how do you get there?  How do you get your volunteer team to a place of ministering out of the overflow?

Lead them.  Challenge them.  Provoke them to exercise spiritual disciplines.  Then, pray for them as they yield their lives to the Holy Spirit.

I heard Craig Jutila once say, “What is healthy will grow.”  It’s natural.  If your volunteer team is healthy, it will grow.  Spiritually and numerically.

Talking with some parents this past weekend I asked them where they were plugged in and serving.  They shifted a little and mentioned getting involved with our Host Team as a greeter.

I understand that.  Their desire to plug in as a greeter is largely due to the fact that it doesn’t require a weekly commitment and if you miss here and there (or everywhere ) you’re not really missed.

But you don’t know what you don’t know… ya’ know?

How do you get a parent to consider plugging into kids ministry?  Talk about the benefit to them personally.  Do they have an elementary-aged child?  Then that child is likely tossing out spiritually-charged questions that are challenging to break down in a way they will understand.  What’s the best way to equip mom/dad?

Plug into the elementary experience and serve.

I know that sounds simple.  And I don’t pretend this is an epiphany that no one else has ever stumbled upon.  Don’t be ridiculous.

But I can only speak from my own experience.

My 9-year-old has established a habit of asking questions that baffle Kyle and me.  Though we may know the answer, trying to frame it in a way that he can comprehend is challenging.  So dismiss the presumption that b/c I’m a Children’s Pastor this stuff comes naturally to me. It doesn’t. In fact, sometimes Kyle and I stumble over ourselves so much Keegan ends up more confused than where we began.  Like a zit… the more you pick at it, the worse it gets. Yet it always seems that somewhere in the midst of the conversation I remember something in Toon Town that addressed the very topic.  I remind Keegan of the character, the circumstance and how they ’shaped’ their explanation.  Then it sinks in… the light bulb goes on… and all is well with the world.  Keegan runs off to play and Kyle and I sink into the couch feeling as if we just ran a marathon.  Sad, really.

But my point is this…

I don’t write the curriculum that is taught to my son in Toon Town. I am exposed to it simply by being in the experience for one hour per week.  By being exposed to it, I’m equipped to have conversations with my kids on levels they can understand.  By hearing it presented in an age-appropriate manner, I’m better equipped as a parent to take that and elaborate on it at home.

I am equipped as a parent to lead my child spiritually simply because I’m exposed to what and how they are taught each week at church.  That’s rich.

So, when you look at it…

We don’t have to recruit from the premise that we need parents to serve in kids ministry.  Parents need kids ministry to serve in so that they may be better equipped as parents… as spiritual leaders of young followers of Jesus.

Call it continuing education…  On-the-job training… whatever.  Either way you slice it… engaging in kids ministry as a volunteer is a worth an hour of your week. Thoughts?

So, last week I asked the question we all ask at one point in our ministry.

What level of commitment do we ask of our volunteers?

Responses varied.  But Kenny’s summed all of them up very well.

For us it depends on what role. We expect our small group leaders to serve every week. We have multiple services, so they don’t have to miss the adult service. Leaders (people who are leading other volunteers) generally serve every week as well. However, most volunteers serve every other week. I’ve found that volunteers who can only commit to one weekend a month generally are not dependable. They often forget and rarely value the commitment. Some of the people I really respect in ministry really encourage moving all teams toward a serve every week model. I’m in love with the idea and I understand that you’ll need less people to pull that off, but finding people willing to commit to that schedule is HARD to do! 

So let’s talk nitty-gritty.  

The majority of those that commented all lead kids ministry and all agree that the every week commitment is the preference even if it isn’t the practice.  The majority agree that an every week commitment fosters an environment that is best for the child… which is our focus.  We could spend a lot of time there.

But someone I respect immensly shifted my focus recently and it has dramatically changed the way I recruit.

Most of the time we recruit from a mindset that we need the parent in order to make our ministry work.  That is true.  We need adults to execute the ministry on a weekly basis.  No argument.  

But is it possible that parents need to serve in kids ministry in order to grow as parents?  

hmmm… that’s a thinker

I speak best from experience mostly b/c I’m hard-headed.  I’ll share more on my personal experience tomorrow.

We had a small conversation going on yesterday’s post. Thanks to all that chimed in. I think there is more to discuss here, so I plan to pick this up a little next week.

See you then.

A continuation of the ongoing conversation about volunteers…

I’ve worked with volunteers in a variety of capacities over the past 8 years.  The fact is… volunteers are the critical piece to executing your ministry.  It simply can’t be done without them.  So, naturally appreciating them is important.  Simply saying, ‘Thank You’ can go a long way.

But there is one thing I’ve learned not to say.

“I’m sorry.”

Although I’m going to acknowledge a volunteers personal sacrifice of time and effort to volunteer in my ministry… I’m not going to apologize for it.  Why?

Because God calls each of us to engage in what He is doing within the community that He has placed us.  Engagement can look different depending on the person, but action is still implied.

So, when I’m standing up before my team of volunteers reminding them of our vision… I don’t apologize for the time they spend serving in LifeKIDS.  It is what God has called them to do.  If they’ve got an issue… they can take it up with Him. 

I have no idea how many of these I might hit. I guess we’ll see.

There are certain dispositions relevant to a Children’s Ministry Pastor/Director. Embrace these and you’ll find a new level of success within your ministry.

Disposition #1: The toughest drive of the week is the drive to church.

The enemy wants to do all he can to keep families from attending church. If he can’t keep them from attending, he’s going to do whatever he can to put them in a sour mood when arrive.

He’ll do anything to make them resistant to a life-changing message.

He plays dirty.

I remind myself of this every weekend as I prepare for worship experiences. I ask these questions:

• Is the environment ready?

Music does wonders towards setting an upbeat tone. And cleanliness is a HUGE factor. Is there debris flying around outside? Is there gunk on your baseboards? Chipped paint or counter tops? Your space speaks volumes to how prepared you are for your families. If the space looks as if you don’t care, what will that communicate about your content?

• Is the family/kids check-in process smooth?

Again… the toughest drive of the week. Families will run late. Kids will be cranky. Parents will be stressed. Don’t make them stand in line. They’ve had enough drama. Somehow, someway… make your check in system so smooth it takes no more than 30 seconds to get your kids a name tag. From there it shouldn’t take more than a few minutes for the parent to kiss their kid and boot them through the door (in a loving motherly fashion, of course ). Your families may enter the kids space cranky… but you can set the tone so they enter the worship experience relaxed and ready for a life-changing message.

Consider these questions as you prep for this weekend.

What can you do to ensure that the toughest drive leads to the best two-hours of their week?