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  ...a dork crazy enough to believe that God will make a difference through her. She is the wife of 1, mom of 3, in over her head and increasingly dependent on God. It works. A quad Americano is the fastest way to win her over. Serving on the LifeKIDS team with LifeChurch.tv, the thoughts expressed here are her own and may (or may not) reflect that of LifeChurch.tv.
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A man I respect told me that years ago.  It was a little bold for my taste but my son was less than 3-years old and it wasn’t really relevant to me at the time.

Six years later, it makes a little more sense to me.

Last August, just before school began we had my 9-year old in karate 3x per week, soccer 2x per week and church activities 2x per week… it was a lot to juggle.  But it didn’t stop there… he wanted to participate in the school chess club.  Add to that Josie’s soccer schedule (b/c at 6 we say the kids can play sports).  Even the Y sports require 2 nights a week.  Toss in homework and any attempts to have a ‘family night’ our schedule would quickly look stupid.

So Kyle and I devoted a date night to talking about our family schedule and how it should look.  We had to revisit the family values we established several years ago.

Are these values still relevant?

If yes, then how does our schedule reflect these values?

We discussed each activity and questioned our motivation behind continuing.  Is this an activity the kids should continue?  If yes, then what else in our calendar can change to accomodate?

It boiled down to simplifying significantly.  We eliminated karate for Keegan and soccer for both.  It opened up our schedule tremendously.  Now we spend the majority of our evenings together at home.  The kids have time to play after homework is done.  Dinner isn’t rushed.

And frankly, mom’s in a better frame of mind.  I want my kids to know a fun mom.  Not the mom that keeps the most efficient schedule in efforts to squeeze more than necessary into a 24 hour day.  That mom isn’t very nice… just punctual… or cranky when she’s not punctual… b/c she was late b/c her taxi schedule was packed too tight… you get the picture.  (a.k.a. the Crackberry Crank)

Are organized sports the enemy of the family?

Do guns kill people?

Just like guns, organized sports are inanimate, objective things.  They do not have feelings.  They are not vindictive.  They are not lurking around in alleyways hoping for the opportunity to hurt you.

But we have a very real enemy that will use any means necessary to distract us from the very thing that matters most in life.  I believe he will use organized sports to get in the way of your family.  You have to be wise about that.  Protect your time together.

Your family is the original small group.  The people God placed in your life to walk with you as you walk with Him.  But distractions erode your time together.  And seperation erodes relationships.  Eventually you’re just a group of people existing under the same roof.

I want more than that for our family.  So we’ll pass on sports for now.

We have a little box of cards on the table.

On the cards are random activity ideas, questions or bible verses to look up and discuss.

My kids are 9 and 6.  They don’t appreciate the bible verses near as much as their parents.  But the activities are a big. hit.

So Josie pulled a card yesterday.  It states (and I quote),

“Go to a community playground and play together for only 5 minutes.  When time is up, go to another playground.  Repeat until you run out of playgrounds or daylight.”

So these are our plans for Thursday night.  A little family fun playground hopping.

What are your plans for family time this week?

Leading praise and worship (a.k.a. the song and dance) in kids ministry is a full-body experience.

This is no spectator sport.

Kids love to sing.  Kids love to dance.  Part of every experience for kids includes this element.  It’s another way to teach kids how to praise their God.

But if you’re volunteers don’t know how to praise their God, then this element can run flat.

I’m not suggesting that every kids volunteer would love to stand in front of a bunch of 4-year-olds waving a worship scarf around while singing songs.  It’s true… there has to be one of those crazy fanatics in the group… but not everyone has to be like that.

This really has less to do with how energetic or silly they are while leading kids in a worship song.  It has more to do with the spiritual discipline of praise and how it’s applied in their own lives.

My theory is this…

If my volunteers have never incorporated the spiritual discipline of praise into their own lives, then teaching kids how to honor God’s name in worship can feel pretty manufactured.  Kids pick up on that stuff.  Clearly this can affect every aspect of the kids experience… but (in my experience) it seems most obvious during the time when their leading kids in song and dance.

Why is that?

Because I can feel pretty comfortable in my own skin when I’m reading a story, leading a craft or just hanging out coloring with kids.  But put me in front of kids with a song I wouldn’t normally listen to on the radio, a worship scarf I would never be found dead with in Big Church and ask me to lead a bunch of little kids through the song with energy and enthusiasm… I’m not feeling so comfortable any more.  It’s the most exposing part of the kids experience and most adults don’t enjoy leading it.  Why?

It’s the least adult-like function of the entire hour.

So relating back to yesterday’s post… Lead your volunteers spiritually.  Challenge them to the spiritual discipline of praise.  Do they truly praise God?  What does that look like?

Praise has everything to do with God and nothing to do with us.  Praise isn’t all about singing a song… in fact that’s only one of many ways to bring praise and glory to God.  Praise is about acknowledging who God is… recognizing His attributes… honoring His name.

So here’s a great challenge for your volunteer… for all of us, for that matter.

Take 5 minutes and praise God.  Do nothing but talk to Him about Him.  No mention of yourself.  There can be NO pronouns.  It’s tougher than you think.  Our spirits are so adept at making things about us that shifting our focus for even 5 minutes to recognize and honor God is a discipline that must be built up.

I believe that when a volunteer incorporates this discipline into their life it can change the way they approach volunteering as a whole.  It can certainly change the way they feel about singing and dancing in front of 4-year olds.  Why?  Because they have established in their lives that it isn’t about them… it’s about teaching these kids to do what they’ve learned to do… bring glory and honor to their God.

So, last week I asked the question we all ask at one point in our ministry.

What level of commitment do we ask of our volunteers?

Responses varied.  But Kenny’s summed all of them up very well.

For us it depends on what role. We expect our small group leaders to serve every week. We have multiple services, so they don’t have to miss the adult service. Leaders (people who are leading other volunteers) generally serve every week as well. However, most volunteers serve every other week. I’ve found that volunteers who can only commit to one weekend a month generally are not dependable. They often forget and rarely value the commitment. Some of the people I really respect in ministry really encourage moving all teams toward a serve every week model. I’m in love with the idea and I understand that you’ll need less people to pull that off, but finding people willing to commit to that schedule is HARD to do! 

So let’s talk nitty-gritty.  

The majority of those that commented all lead kids ministry and all agree that the every week commitment is the preference even if it isn’t the practice.  The majority agree that an every week commitment fosters an environment that is best for the child… which is our focus.  We could spend a lot of time there.

But someone I respect immensly shifted my focus recently and it has dramatically changed the way I recruit.

Most of the time we recruit from a mindset that we need the parent in order to make our ministry work.  That is true.  We need adults to execute the ministry on a weekly basis.  No argument.  

But is it possible that parents need to serve in kids ministry in order to grow as parents?  

hmmm… that’s a thinker

I speak best from experience mostly b/c I’m hard-headed.  I’ll share more on my personal experience tomorrow.

I would love to think that I can protect my kids from hearing, seeing or (heaven forbid) doing things they shouldn’t.  But that’s not reality, is it?

My friend, Cindy B, talks about a recent conversation with her 10-year old son.  The fact is… Cindy is right.  Locking our kids up in a room with no access to the outside world might do the trick, but that’s not practical.  Not to mention DHS tends to frown on such parenting tactics.  (sigh)

Kyle and I had our own opportunity for lessons in discernment with our 9-year old son this past weekend.  We took the kids to visit our alma mater on Sunday.  Wanting to hit a few ‘old haunts’ while we were in town, we had a late lunch at a pizza place just across the street from campus.  Sitting in this restaraunt 14 years later with our kids.  Very odd feelings.

The funny things is… little has changed about the place.  Even the artwork.  Oh, I forgot about the artwork.  Dangit!

As a student, I waited tables in this hippy pizza joint.  Everything was tye-dyed, Grateful Dead was the musical staple and fried mushrooms were the healthiest thing you could get your hands on.  The walls were either lined with provacative artwork or collages that dated back to the late 60’s.  One wall is lined with sketches of women playing musical instruments wearing little more than their birthday suits.  I can remember seating families at tables that lined this wall.  Some parents didn’t care.  Some were indignant and insisted on sitting elsewhere.  We disregarded most comments.  

It was art.  

Nothing more beautiful than the human body… right?

hmmm

Fast-forward 14 years (and 3 kids later) and my feelings are a little different.  Sitting in the restaraunt, I look across the table to find my son entranced… staring at the wall.  The wall.

So now my mind is in over-drive.  Keep it calm, Gina.  Don’t overreact.  It’s healthy curiosity.

Did I insist on moving to a different table?  No

Did I ridicule the restaraunt for such appaling ‘artwork’, exposing my child to something entirely inappropriate?  No

Whether I agree with the artwork or not… that’s irrelevant.  What is relevant is the opportunity to teach my son to value purity.  

That he has direct control over what he sees.  

The art of ‘bouncing the eyes’.

We had a good conversation.  I didn’t chide him for looking.  He was embarrassed enough.

We talked about what he saw.  And how somehow he knew that he didn’t need to look at it.  And the value of listening to that spirit-check… that little voice inside that says, “Maybe I don’t need to look at this.”

Is that the last time we’ll discuss the value of purity?  I hope not.  

Will it get any easier?  Who knows.  

But it will always make for a great post!  :)

this is a phrase that should be banned from our vocabulary.  it should be replaced with the phrase, “let me find out”.  

last week my son was completing some reading comprehension homework.  seems simple enough.  read the short story, then answer some questions.  

i’ve learned to check my son’s homework before he shoves it into his backpack.  (if you don’t… you’d be surprised what you’ll find)  

upon inspection i found a few questions where his answer to the question was, “I don’t know”.  

he didn’t understand why that wasn’t an adequate response.

for. the. love.

As a pastor I confess that my job can get in the way of my family.  It’s an ongoing challenge to ensure my family comes before my ministry.  There are moments I do that well… and moments I do not.

Last week I had a moment that I did not.

Though numbers are not the focus, we certainly track attendance as a barometer to help us determine the success/effectiveness of an event.  With goals set, we chase those ‘carrots’ all year long with the best intentions.  One such goal is to maintain strong attendance in our discipleship program from August to May.

Why do you need to know this?  Setting the stage, I guess.

Last week was the first week of school.  Josie started the 1st grade.  She was puh-umped.

All day school… Lunch in the cafeteria… more nervous energy than she knew what to do with.

It was also the first day of KONNECT.  (KONNECT is our kids discipleship program.) Now that Josie is 6 years old, she gets to participate in KONNECT.  Again, she was puh-umped.

After picking the kids up from school, we ran some errands, horked down grabbed some dinner and headed off to church.  Josie was borderline psychotic clearly tired by the time we arrived at church.  She’d had a few melt-downs since leaving school.  I debated on the wisdom of sending her to church and thus being up 2 hours past her bedtime.  I envisioned the following morning and the probability of outbursts that register on the Richter scale.

Despite the wisdom of just keeping her home and allowing her opportunity to rest, I took her to church.

Why?

Numbers.

If she wasn’t there, it would count against our numbers.

Like I said, sometimes I do a good job of putting my family first… and then there are moments like these. 

(Cue music as she is crowned ‘Mother of the Year’)

• I don’t think I will ever be accused of over-communicating
• How am I contributing to my 6-year old daughter’s melt-downs?
• How do I avoid my 6-year old daughter’s melt-downs?
• Why does my 6-year old daughter melt-down?
• How do you create anticipation around a weekly occurrence?
• Wish I could find a blog, book, podcast, etc that challenges my thinking about volunteers
• Am I seriously listening to a song about how to go to the toilet, what to use to wipe yourself and how to get the ’stuff’ to go down the toilet?  And my 2-year old is dancing to it.  Nice

Hope your weekend is great, friends.

Take some time… rest… and take your kids pastor a Starbucks this Sunday morning. 

Setting:  Working on the computer listening to the kids playing in the backyard.  Laughter turns to yelling.  Door opens… kids pour in the house.

Friend:  “Umm.  Miss Gina, I’m sorry to bother you and I don’t mean to be a tattle-tail, but Josie keeps throwing the baseball at me.”

Josie (pleading her case):  “I was not!  He just keeps standing in the place I want to throw it!”

For the love of all things holy… How would you address this?

It’s like a right of passage for the 2-year old. The idea that he can say, “No”.

It’s not just the word. It’s the inflection. The way the word roles off the tongue. Reverberates through the room filling the space around him. Clearly defining his opinion on the subject.

Like bullets spraying from a machine gun.

Water jetting from a rotary sprinkler.

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!

It’s still ringing in my ears.

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