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  ...a dork crazy enough to believe that God will make a difference through her. She is the wife of 1, mom of 3, in over her head and increasingly dependent on God. It works. A quad Americano is the fastest way to win her over. Serving on the LifeKIDS team with LifeChurch.tv, the thoughts expressed here are her own and may (or may not) reflect that of LifeChurch.tv.
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Fostering an environment where kids learn about Jesus can be a challenging task.  Introduce a child with special needs to the mix and the task can get a little more complicated. Some churches find themselves without a plan and (therefore) without a solution when this family arrives at their church.

I’ve been in kids ministry for a brief time, but in that time I’ve encountered a variety of special needs kids and their families. The most common things I’ve witnessed are…

• Parents - They need to know their child is welcome, loved and accepted.  Period.
• Volunteers - They need as much support and information as possible.
• Kids - They need consistency (and ditto bullet #1)

Each one is necessary for any family and their child but are vital for a child with special needs.

What is your ministries approach to special needs?

Talking with some parents this past weekend I asked them where they were plugged in and serving.  They shifted a little and mentioned getting involved with our Host Team as a greeter.

I understand that.  Their desire to plug in as a greeter is largely due to the fact that it doesn’t require a weekly commitment and if you miss here and there (or everywhere :)) you’re not really missed.

But you don’t know what you don’t know… ya’ know?

How do you get a parent to consider plugging into kids ministry?  Talk about the benefit to them personally.  Do they have an elementary-aged child?  Then that child is likely tossing out spiritually-charged questions that are challenging to break down in a way they will understand.  What’s the best way to equip mom/dad?

Plug into the elementary experience and serve.

I know that sounds simple.  And I don’t pretend this is an epiphany that no one else has ever stumbled upon.  Don’t be ridiculous.

But I can only speak from my own experience.

My 9-year-old has established a habit of asking questions that baffle Kyle and me.  Though we may know the answer, trying to frame it in a way that he can comprehend is challenging.  So dismiss the presumption that b/c I’m a Children’s Pastor this stuff comes naturally to me. It doesn’t. In fact, sometimes Kyle and I stumble over ourselves so much Keegan ends up more confused than where we began.  Like a zit… the more you pick at it, the worse it gets. Yet it always seems that somewhere in the midst of the conversation I remember something in Toon Town that addressed the very topic.  I remind Keegan of the character, the circumstance and how they ’shaped’ their explanation.  Then it sinks in… the light bulb goes on… and all is well with the world.  Keegan runs off to play and Kyle and I sink into the couch feeling as if we just ran a marathon.  Sad, really.

But my point is this…

I don’t write the curriculum that is taught to my son in Toon Town. I am exposed to it simply by being in the experience for one hour per week.  By being exposed to it, I’m equipped to have conversations with my kids on levels they can understand.  By hearing it presented in an age-appropriate manner, I’m better equipped as a parent to take that and elaborate on it at home.

I am equipped as a parent to lead my child spiritually simply because I’m exposed to what and how they are taught each week at church.  That’s rich.

So, when you look at it…

We don’t have to recruit from the premise that we need parents to serve in kids ministry.  Parents need kids ministry to serve in so that they may be better equipped as parents… as spiritual leaders of young followers of Jesus.

Call it continuing education…  On-the-job training… whatever.  Either way you slice it… engaging in kids ministry as a volunteer is a worth an hour of your week. Thoughts?

So, last week I asked the question we all ask at one point in our ministry.

What level of commitment do we ask of our volunteers?

Responses varied.  But Kenny’s summed all of them up very well.

For us it depends on what role. We expect our small group leaders to serve every week. We have multiple services, so they don’t have to miss the adult service. Leaders (people who are leading other volunteers) generally serve every week as well. However, most volunteers serve every other week. I’ve found that volunteers who can only commit to one weekend a month generally are not dependable. They often forget and rarely value the commitment. Some of the people I really respect in ministry really encourage moving all teams toward a serve every week model. I’m in love with the idea and I understand that you’ll need less people to pull that off, but finding people willing to commit to that schedule is HARD to do! 

So let’s talk nitty-gritty.  

The majority of those that commented all lead kids ministry and all agree that the every week commitment is the preference even if it isn’t the practice.  The majority agree that an every week commitment fosters an environment that is best for the child… which is our focus.  We could spend a lot of time there.

But someone I respect immensly shifted my focus recently and it has dramatically changed the way I recruit.

Most of the time we recruit from a mindset that we need the parent in order to make our ministry work.  That is true.  We need adults to execute the ministry on a weekly basis.  No argument.  

But is it possible that parents need to serve in kids ministry in order to grow as parents?  

hmmm… that’s a thinker

I speak best from experience mostly b/c I’m hard-headed.  I’ll share more on my personal experience tomorrow.

The phrase ‘Return On Investment’ is a key player in todays economy. No one wans to waste their resources.

We use MapQuest to find the most efficient route because we want to maximize our time.

We brag over bargains, drive an extra mile for a better gas price, and steal our neighbors Bed, Bath and Beyond coupon out of their mailbox in order to maximize our money.

(i can neither confirm nor deny the theft of any BB&Y coupon from said neighbor’s mailbox. that would be illegal. that’s not how i roll.)

Bottom line…

We want the best return for our investment.

If that is true, then why in the world do churches continue to disregard the kids church experience?

Here’s where I’m coming from…

A friend of mine traveled back home to visit family.  While there, they made the traditional trek to church on Sunday morning. Her two children ended up sitting in adult church with their parents b/c children’s church was cancelled. Why? Because the woman teaching was sick.  

That is sad.

So, the long and short of it is…  this church was not prepared for a great opportunity.  They weren’t positioned to get the most out of their time.  Why?

Of the 50 people sitting in the church pews that morning, there were 10 people with the greatest potential to say yes to Jesus… 10 people with more opportunities lying ahead of them to share Jesus… 10 people with the most potential to see more people come to faith in Jesus than walked on this earth a century ago.  Those 10 people happened to be from 6 to 12 years old.  

But who is the message geared toward? The 40 half-way-to-the-finish-line adults? Or the 10 just-past-the-starting-line kids?

Time is a commodity you can spend but never recover.  So, in this scenario… what’s the better return on investment? 

The same old worship experience for the adults?  Or a tweaked experience that incorporates the kids… one that ensures they understand the teaching?

Are you a small church without the resources for a full-blown kids ministry?  That’s okay.  It just means you do things a little differently.  You don’t have to look like every other church out there.  In fact… maybe God doesn’t want you to look like every other church out there.

Look different.  

Be different.  

The majority of churches in America are not exactly producing fully sold-out rock-your-face-off Christ followers.  

Maybe we need to quit telling parents how to raise their kids to follow Jesus and show them what it looks like.

Maybe we need to turn the church experience into an actual, hands-on workshop.

Maybe we need to shake things up.

In kids ministry, there are certain circumstances that naturally draw attention, generate excitement, and provoke anticipation. 

new building project

remodeled space

revamped curriculum/teaching

These circumstances naturally instigate a wave of excitement and anticipation.  As a leader, you can ride the crest of that wave for a while.

In the same way, something that occurs weekly and doesn’t ’seem’ to change from week-to-week can generate a sense of redundancy.  Leading through the perceived ‘redundancy’ is a leadership challenge.  Here are a few things I’m working through to cultivate anticipation among my volunteer team.

• Life-Change Stories:  nothing beats a great life-change story to remind volunteers why they do what they do. Open their mind to the potential for that hour they spend with the kids
• Thermometer vs. Thermostat:  one reflects the temperature… the other determines the temperature.  I need to be a better Thermostat for my volunteer team
• Keep the main thing the main thing:  don’t lose sight of the bigger picture.  always draw it back to why you’re there to begin with.  Why did we open the doors?  Why did we put so much time and effort into preparing?  For the very kids entering the doors right now.  Even if one kid came to LifeKIDS that day… every step taken to prepare was worth it.  Every child matters.  Every child is celebrated.

A continuation of the ongoing conversation about volunteers…

I’ve worked with volunteers in a variety of capacities over the past 8 years.  The fact is… volunteers are the critical piece to executing your ministry.  It simply can’t be done without them.  So, naturally appreciating them is important.  Simply saying, ‘Thank You’ can go a long way.

But there is one thing I’ve learned not to say.

“I’m sorry.”

Although I’m going to acknowledge a volunteers personal sacrifice of time and effort to volunteer in my ministry… I’m not going to apologize for it.  Why?

Because God calls each of us to engage in what He is doing within the community that He has placed us.  Engagement can look different depending on the person, but action is still implied.

So, when I’m standing up before my team of volunteers reminding them of our vision… I don’t apologize for the time they spend serving in LifeKIDS.  It is what God has called them to do.  If they’ve got an issue… they can take it up with Him. 

Return On Investment

A phrase many of us are familiar with. 

We all want our resources to go as far as they can.  The best bang for our buck.

Funny how I believe that is true… I desire a great return on my investment… and yet my time is poorly spent. 

Time is the one commodity you can spend and never get back.

So why do I spend so little time in prayer?

When I think about it… time spent in prayer has got to be a great investment. 

I receive a periodic email from ‘The Pastor’s Coach’ at Injoy.com.  Here is what I walked away with.

God has chosen to work through people. As church leaders we are charged with the mission He gave us. We all have a choice, we can engage the mission equipped merely with our leadership gifts and talents or we can engage the mission based on the time we spend on our knees asking God for guidance, power and blessing upon our gifts and talents. So, let me ask you a personal question. No one is looking - be honest. How much time and energy do you invest in prayer?

If your answer is that you fall short in the area of prayer, don’t let this become a road to guilt. That’s what the enemy wants. Think grace. But get in the game and pray. If you are tempted to ask “how much” you should pray, be careful, that can lead toward more guilt and even legalism.

It’s true that more time in prayer is better than less time. But the actual amount isn’t the point as much as your consistency, passion and heart behind the prayer. I am making a big assumption that you want to pray. But like many church leaders, you find the busyness of your life crowding out time for prayer. I urge you to make time to pray. Carve out the time. Make it happen. Fight for it. Let everything else wait. Whether you pray 20 minutes a day or 2 hours a day is between you and God. The point is to talk to God and listen for His voice. Beyond these set-apart times of prayer, scripture tells us to pray without ceasing. I’ve learned that, for me, praying without ceasing means to carry an attitude of awareness, dependence, and communication (listening) to God throughout the day.

Interesting how the gifts and talents God employs in me were never intended to be powered strictly by me.  They were placed inside me and designed in such a way to be power by God.  I know that… and yet I don’t act on it. 

Oh… the patience He has with me.  It’s amazing. 

Disposition #3: Rally people around vision… not around you.

In ministry, volunteers are critical. But how many times do you see volunteers rotate out of the ministry within months following a staff member’s departure? It happens all the time… but why?

Because the volunteers were rallied around a person and not a vision. The vision of your ministry should outlive and outgrow you. If it doesn’t… it’s not from God.

Take a close look at the volunteers surrounding you. Are they sold out to you? Or are they sold out to the vision of your ministry?

There are significant benefits to centering your volunteer team around a vision.

• Vision Accountability

If your volunteer team is there because of you, they’re likely to support you regardless of the decision.  That isn’t always healthy.  In fact, when you’re in an unhealthy place your ability to make the best decisions regarding your ministry are diminished.  Volunteers rallied around the vision will hold you accountable to that vision.

• Ministry Stability

Again, we have no guarantee for tomorrow.  We don’t know what will happen.  God may call you out.  If that happens, what happens to your volunteer team?  Will they eventually drop off?  Or are they so bought into the vision, they wouldn’t entertain the thought of leaving unless God called them away also.

Lead your volunteers to embrace the vision God gave you… not you.  When they chase that which only God can accomplish through them, you’ll transform your ministry.

I have no idea how many of these I might hit. I guess we’ll see.

There are certain dispositions relevant to a Children’s Ministry Pastor/Director. Embrace these and you’ll find a new level of success within your ministry.

Disposition #1: The toughest drive of the week is the drive to church.

The enemy wants to do all he can to keep families from attending church. If he can’t keep them from attending, he’s going to do whatever he can to put them in a sour mood when arrive.

He’ll do anything to make them resistant to a life-changing message.

He plays dirty.

I remind myself of this every weekend as I prepare for worship experiences. I ask these questions:

• Is the environment ready?

Music does wonders towards setting an upbeat tone. And cleanliness is a HUGE factor. Is there debris flying around outside? Is there gunk on your baseboards? Chipped paint or counter tops? Your space speaks volumes to how prepared you are for your families. If the space looks as if you don’t care, what will that communicate about your content?

• Is the family/kids check-in process smooth?

Again… the toughest drive of the week. Families will run late. Kids will be cranky. Parents will be stressed. Don’t make them stand in line. They’ve had enough drama. Somehow, someway… make your check in system so smooth it takes no more than 30 seconds to get your kids a name tag. From there it shouldn’t take more than a few minutes for the parent to kiss their kid and boot them through the door (in a loving motherly fashion, of course ). Your families may enter the kids space cranky… but you can set the tone so they enter the worship experience relaxed and ready for a life-changing message.

Consider these questions as you prep for this weekend.

What can you do to ensure that the toughest drive leads to the best two-hours of their week?

The What Up at OKC:

• We’re entering week 2 of new series called LOST.  Story about a little boy that loses his dog.  The fun part was hanging LOST posters around the kids space.  The posters look so legit, parents and kids really thought we were searching for a lost dog.  Even cooler… we set up a 1-800 number for the kids to call.  When they call in, the kids listen to a special message.  We’re tracking the number of calls.  Big hit, so far!
• We had a MicroMission at the church last night.  As we gear up for Easter, we’ve got some creative invite tools for everyone to use when inviting people to church.  The tools came with some assembly required.  That’s where our kids come in.  We invited them to the church with their parents to help assemble the invites.  We intentionally make it a part of this big invite push and we make sure the kids know they are part of the impact.
• Vision infusion is my primary focus, right now.  As a ministry leader, what methods do you use to re-infuse your volunteers with the Big Picture?

At the crashpad:

• Slow blogging week.  I spent the better part of the past two days at the hospital with one of my families.  Their 2-year-old so sick and doctors running test after test trying to figure out the problem.  It has a way of bringing your to your knees in ways you never imagine.  Jonathon is doing better today and will leave the hospital next week.  Praise God!
• On that note… I have a new appreciation for my 2-year-old and his antics.
• Our LifeGroup is reading through John.  We had a few epiphanies with Chapter 1.  My hubby blogs about it here.

Blogs to check out:

• Rindy Walton is a woman I learn a lot from.  She’s got amazing experience as a mom and God is taking her through a refining season right now.  Her response inspires me.  Read what she has to say about life.
• My friend Robyn just started blogging.  Robyn leads LifeKIDS at the Tulsa LC Campus.  She’s got a goose-bump story.  Give her a shout-out and welcome her to the blogging universe.

Have a fun weekend.  Ban the cartoons and get outside!

See you Monday.

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