… And step away from the stove!”

I lost my cooking license today.

I’m no longer aloud to cook.

At least I’m no longer aloud to leave a boiling pot of water on the stove… unattended… for 10 minutes… with the burner on high.

Seems this sets off the fire alarm and causes a smoky mess that lingers in your house for days.  Kind of a problem.

• High School Musical on Ice – ‘nuf said

• My son’s homework was lost.  The frantic search ensued only to find it in the trash.  Underneath the coffee grounds.  Tossed out by yours truly.  

• Microphones should never be given to long-winded people.  If you can’t make your point in 3 minutes or less… give it up.  You lost your audience.

As a pastor I confess that my job can get in the way of my family.  It’s an ongoing challenge to ensure my family comes before my ministry.  There are moments I do that well… and moments I do not.

Last week I had a moment that I did not.

Though numbers are not the focus, we certainly track attendance as a barometer to help us determine the success/effectiveness of an event.  With goals set, we chase those ‘carrots’ all year long with the best intentions.  One such goal is to maintain strong attendance in our discipleship program from August to May.

Why do you need to know this?  Setting the stage, I guess.

Last week was the first week of school.  Josie started the 1st grade.  She was puh-umped.

All day school… Lunch in the cafeteria… more nervous energy than she knew what to do with.

It was also the first day of KONNECT.  (KONNECT is our kids discipleship program.) Now that Josie is 6 years old, she gets to participate in KONNECT.  Again, she was puh-umped.

After picking the kids up from school, we ran some errands, horked down grabbed some dinner and headed off to church.  Josie was borderline psychotic clearly tired by the time we arrived at church.  She’d had a few melt-downs since leaving school.  I debated on the wisdom of sending her to church and thus being up 2 hours past her bedtime.  I envisioned the following morning and the probability of outbursts that register on the Richter scale.

Despite the wisdom of just keeping her home and allowing her opportunity to rest, I took her to church.

Why?

Numbers.

If she wasn’t there, it would count against our numbers.

Like I said, sometimes I do a good job of putting my family first… and then there are moments like these. 

(Cue music as she is crowned ‘Mother of the Year’)

Setting:  Standing in line for a roller coaster at Frontier City…

Kyle:  “Aren’t those the sunglasses we got you for Mother’s Day over a year ago?”

Me:  with smug satisfaction, “Yep.”

Kyle:  “Wow.  That’s a record for you.”

Me:  “And you thought I couldn’t hang on to a pair of sunglasses.”

The sunglasses were left sitting on some random table at Frontier City. 

Isn’t that just how it is?

So I wake up at 6:30am Tuesday morning to Connor crying. Not typical, but he’s been sick.

I find him with a bloody nose… again, not typical, but he’s been sick.

I lay him down on my bed, stop the nosebleed, and help him settle down. He lays on my bed for 30 minutes sleeping on and off and fussing the rest of the time. He asks for juice. We give him juice. I offer him a pop-tart and he ate it. He even gobbled down yogurt that I fed to him.

The only odd thing about it is… the kid won’t open his eyes. In fact, he refuses to open his eyes.

He fusses. He cries. He begs to be held. And the entire time he won’t open his eyes.

After two hours, he falls asleep on the couch.

I call the doctor.

The doctor finds this odd and asks me to call him back if it continues after he wakes up.

Two hours later Connor wakes up. He’s still doing it.

I ask him to open his eyes. He cries.

I attempt to put clothes on him and he screams. He fights with every attempt to dress him… his eyes closed the entire time!

He acts as if he’s uncomfortable but can’t tell me what it is.

The doctor finds this odd and recommends I take him to the ER.

Kyle meets me there. He holds Connor for 5 minutes. He tells Connor, “If you open your eyes, I’ll take you to see the fish.”

Connor opens his eyes. Then he plays in the triage room as we explain to the nurse, “This is NOT how he was acting.”

Was I duped by a 2 year old?

Flashbacks of Ferris Bueller race through my head.

No wonder I’m on happy meds.

If you know me… you know I love my iPod. I’ve usually got it in my ears. Another denied addiction.

The other day I left my iPod sitting on my desk. By the end of the evening it was missing.

The funny thing is, the moment I said it was missing people took me seriously.

Why is that funny? Well… again, if you knew me you’d know that losing things is a regular occurrence in my life.

But, as my friend, Shane, stated, “Gina loses a lot of things, but she never loses her iPod.”

It’s been a whirlwind week! Here’s the rundown…

• 3 Doctors, 3 X-rays, and $75 later… It’s confirmed.  Connor has a broken foot.  But we’re 2 weeks into a 3 week healing process.  So, we leave it and let it continue healing on it’s own. 
• I’ve got to start running again. Anyone interested in dragging out of bed with me in the a.m.?
• I nearly left my daughter at church the other night. I’ll tell that story next week…
• At the sight of playing cards, my 2-year old says, “No, Go Fish”. Guess we play that game a lot.
• In the midst of a refreshing season with the Lord, right now. I needed that.
• CopyBlogger offers great advice for blogging.
• Anybody have a good cleaner for Pergo flooring? I need some tips.

There.  I said it.

I don’t have them. 

I’ve spent the week in and out of conversations dealing with a tough issue.  The more I dive into things like this, the more God reveals that the source of answers is not from my ‘vast’ experience in ministry.  (did you catch the sarcasm?)

No.  I found myself confessing that I’m ‘feeling’ my way through this.  Promising to take every step God directs.  Reassuring that because He is orchestrating, then healing and restoration are the result.

Certainly takes the pressure off.

When was the last time you found yourself here?  Do you lean on your experience or the One leading you through it?

My greatest struggle is my weight.

I go through seasons when I do okay. I choose healthy food. Smaller portions. Less chocolate.

Then I progress into a season when PB&J is the only option.

Not that I don’t buy healthy food. I fill my ‘crisper’ with veggies, fruits and salads. But when I open the refrigerator after a crazy day, a salad just doesn’t sound that good.

My struggle won’t ruin my career. It won’t bring shame to my family. It won’t be exposed on the news when I decide to run for president… of the Godiva Club.

What continues in my life is a socially acceptable struggle that makes for some funny jokes and great material used to beat myself up.

But my struggle reveals a tendency to depend on things other than my God. It reveals my pursuit of something I’ll never find in the PB&J.

God, please place this area of my life on the anvil and beat the crap out of all the reasons I choose PB&J over You.  Not for the purpose of posing in a size 4.  But purely for the purpose of glorifying You.  Amen

My daughter gets frustrated when she can’t draw a perfect heart.

She scouls when I tell her she is beautiful.

She’s impossible to get out of bed.

She loves to tell others what to do and how to do it.

And she’s so much like me it’s scary.

I have no idea what to do with that.