I wish I could claim that statement.  But it’s not mine.  You’ll find it here…

This week I’m participating in a book study of Nancy Beach’s book, Gifted to Lead.  This is a rich book addressing the challenges of women in ministry leadership.  It’s well presented and I highly recommend the read.

If you’re a woman in ministry (volunteer or paid) or if you’re a man working with women ministry (volunteer or paid)… grab this book, dig in and have a rich conversation.  It will be well worth your time.

Nearing the end of my notes from David Staal’s book, Words Kids Need to Hear.  Here is #6 of 7 things my kids need to hear from me.

#6…

“No”

Here are my takeaways…

• Be the Adult, Care Too Much:  While a kid typically won’t enjoy the limitations that come his way, their existence will help him feel secure.  The reason:  he knows that someone cares for him and stands committed to his well-being.
• Be Willing to Do Something:  The average parent reminds a child nine times before taking action.  When your action follows the ninth request, you teach the child that he can ignore the first eight.
• Know How to Resist:  Consider how many decisions are made, or not made, because a parent fears a child’s reaction
• Sunday school teachers or youth ministry workers face a real temptation to tolerate otherwise inappropriate behavior in an effort to appear cool to their charges and thereby win acceptance – in the name of ministry, of course.
• Betsy Hart says, “If we do not train our children as youngsters to appropriately submit to our loving authority, if instead we train their hearts in rebellion, then how will they be able to one day submit to the authority of their heavenly father?  Practically speaking, this means our children have to actually hear the word ‘no’.”

This was a great chapter for me to read.  Though I believe I have a good grasp on discipline in my home, I can see where I’ve allowed areas to slip.  Where my inaction has given my kids perceived permission.  I want my kids to learn how to obey their heavenly father.  I want the gap between knowing His will and acting on His will to be very short.

Here is the question that rings in my mind…

Is my “no” respected and effective?

It’s the final day of Guest Blogging on Swerve with the Kendra Golden.  Don’t miss it!

Continuing the discussion from David Staal’s book, Words Kids Need to Hear.  Here is #5 of 7 things my kids need to hear from me.

#5…

“Because”

Here are my takeaways…

• …the difference between a boy or girl just hearing your voice and actually believing what you say depends on whether or not you provide an authentic rationale – the words you add after you say, “because”.
• This word, used effectively as the start of a reasoned, rational statement, offers you a unique opportunity to make your messages powerful.
• How can a child distinguish a parent’s authentic affirmation, commitment, or affection from the hollow hype she hears virtually everywhere else?
• It’s time for we parents to take back authenticity – one “because” at a time

Does your child take what you say to heart?

I’m Guest Blogging this week with on Swerve with the Kendra Golden.  Don’t miss it!

The chapter that impacted me the most from David Staal’s book, Words Kids Need to Hear.  Here is #4 of 7 things my kids need to hear from me.

#4…

“I’m sorry, please forgive me”

Here are my swift kicks in the behind…

• Authentic authority flows from respect, and sincere apologies foster the connectedness and trust that is necessary for it to lovingly evolve.
• Children tend to treat people the way they are treated.
• The humility we need comes from a simple truth – everyone messes up and has reasons to apologize.  Even to kids.  When you approach life convinced of your fallibility, a humble attitude will follow.  Just don’t get arrogant about it.
• If the thought “I should apologize” comes to mind, then act on it; that’s your heart talking.
• Act sooner than later.  An apology sometimes arrives too late to have full impact.
• Speak clearly and concisely.  Limit your words.  Work hard to resist the urge to offer excuses and preserve the power of the moment.
• Disappointment with mom or dad is tough for a kid to handle.
• Parents need to give children opportunities to develop an ability to freely forgive.  He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love.

I needed a breather after that chapter.

More on the discussion on David Staal’s book, Words Kids Need to Hear,  there are 7 things my kids need to hear from me.

#3…

“I Treasure You”

Here are my take-aways…

• Kids long to feel special
• Parents can share the words “I treasure you” in countless ways and with consistent frequency because the message does not need to wait for new reasons.
• Keep it simple:  the longer the message, the lower the comprehension
• …simple heartfelt messages offered on an ongoing basis penetrate deeply and become part of an internal belief system
• When you say “I treasure you” inside a moment that includes only you and your child, you eliminate much of the temptation for comparison with others

Continuing the discussion on David Staal’s book, Words Kids Need to Hear,  there are 7 things my kids need to hear from me.

#2…

“You Can Count On Me”

• …become great at keeping commitments to your child.  Big or small.  Short term or long term.
• Our children benefit more from our ability to be ‘present’ than they do from being rushed off to one more activity.  Try to slow down.
• Sometimes words kids really need to hear are those they say to a parent willing to listen.
• National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse says teens from families that almost never eat dinner together are 72% more likely than an average teen to use illegal drugs, cigarettes and alcohol.

According to author David Staal, there are 7 things my kids need to here… from me.

#1…

“I believe in you”

Here are my take-aways.

• The message you send your children can point them toward God or point them elsewhere
• Whether they move into a full relationship with Him is not a result for you to own, but a responsibility of yours to influence
• When a parent believes in you, you begin to believe in yourself.  It bolsters your self-worth.  And self-worth matters
• Every child needs to feel accepted and valued
• Be on the lookout for “what just happened that’s worth noticing?”… leads us to focus on and name specific, positive character traits in action
• The simple challenge for us parents is to worry less about what other moms and dads think and more about what our child hears

• Great read for parents! The Danger of Raising Nice Kids by Timothy Smith. I ain’t playin’. If you’re raising kids, you need to read this book.
• Did you know? Apples are more efficient at waking you up than coffee; When you sneeze all bodily functions stop (including your heart); 40,000 americans are injured by toilets each year; For more random facts, click here.
• Sorry for the lack of posting this week. Short work week’s are a scramble. Lots of stuff happening.
• My new mantra is, “Butts in Seats”. That’s my key focus. If the butts aren’t in the seats, they’re not going to hear the life-changing message about Jesus. So, we’re testing a few things in Toon Town to get kids thinking about who they need bring next week. I’ll keep you up to date.
• We’re repainting our house. Oh my word, the mess! But it sure will look nice. After that? Tile. (How in the world did the project get this big?)
• A few new blogs I’ve been following:
  • Abbi Z
  • 6 Year Med
  • Copyblogger
• Remember, Tyranny of the Urgent is the booger that keeps us from getting done what God is asking us to get done. I needed the reminder… thought you might too.

Have a GREAT weekend!

Whew! Did you ever think we’d make it?

My final post on the book “Inside the Magic Kingdom”. This lesson is the one I do the least, and the one that challenges me the most. So as I write, my mind whirs with the need to apply this, once again.

Lesson #6: Reward, Recognize, and Celebrate

How often do you hear about the things you do right?

Have you received recognition before your team?

Did anyone clap when you entered the office today?

Why?

Why is it that the average work environment is filled with either critical feedback or no feedback at all?

It’s interesting considering how much we desire to know that we are valuable.

But in order to have a team full of people that feel valued… those team members must value others more than themselves.

hmmm, didn’t Jesus say that?

We desire to be appreciated. We desire to feel valued.

Rewarding others’ achievements communicates appreciation. Recognizing others’ accomplishments expresses value.

Celebrating others for who they are goes a long way to fostering a healthy environment.

When something is healthy, it grows.

Is your environment healthy? If you’re busy trying to acquire recognition, you have none to offer others.

Recognize effort. Reward accomplishments. Celebrate moments.

You’ll be surprised by how it transforms your team.

Okay.  I’m an ENFP.  Easily distracted.  Bear with me.

Just attempting to finish my series of posts on the book, Inside the Magic Kingdom.

Lesson #5:  Customers are best heard through many ears.

Disney has a variety of ways through which they ‘listen’ to their customers.  These are called ‘multiple listening posts’. 

This occurs in many ways.  Too numerous to cover.  We’ll stick with one example. 

Employees of Disney working in the same area gather together at the end of each shift.  It’s an informal gathering but with significant impact.  Team members toss out their own evaluation of how the day went based upon customer response.  They rate it on a scale of 1 to 10, then discuss where improvement is needed.  When they touch base after the following shift, they address the changes and their effectiveness. 

Disney staff know the experience they are trying to create for their customers.  They know  whether or not they’re effective based upon the customer feedback.  So who better than the staff to self-evaluate their own performance?

Imagine applying this tactic to your ministry.

Imagine gathering with your volunteers to discuss the effectiveness of your kids’ experience.  Was the message to the point?  Did the kids get the point?  Are they motivated to act on the point?  What do we change to make this happen?

Ministry ownership invading the ranks of volunteers. 

Gotta’ love it.