Dan Scott started a great conversation here about phrases to quit using in kids ministry. Kenny Conley comments in that conversation about the process we go through as Christ followers. Here is what Kenny writes.
…I’ve become a lot more comfortable with the idea that becoming a Christ Follower for many people isn’t an alter call experience, but a process. I’ve talked to too many people who can’t tell you when they became a Christ Follower because it was more of a process for them... I’ve had parents get frustrated when their kids “asked Jesus in their heart” and they’d already done it before… Could it be that this is a process? Kids may have made a heart decision, but their mind still hasn’t caught up (they don’t completely comprehend)…
I’ve talked to many parents with teens that have ‘grown up’ in church. They stand before me confused because their daughter made a mistake and is now pregnant. Mom/dad look at me and say,
“She accepted Jesus when she was 6, she never missed a Sunday, we volunteered every Wednesday night… now my 16 yr old is pregnant. What happened?”
Are we offering a checklist? Are we giving them hoops to jump through?
Don’t miss church.
Bring your kids to our events.
Do this bible study.
Pray this prayer.
We forget sometimes that mom/dad want to do this thing right. If we throw a perceived ‘recipe for success’ out there, are we inviting parents to assume that following the recipe will produce the perfect child? Or at least a child with no MAJOR issues like teen pregnancy, social drinking, or addiction to 80’s hair band music.
I question our approach often. I work to explain to mom/dad that choosing Christ is a series of discoveries and decisions. It begins with discovering what He did for us and why. Then continues with decisions… the everyday, ordinary decision of choosing what He says is best verses what we think is best.
Is anyone else (parent or Children’s pastor) wrestling this down?
May 18th, 2009 at 10:22 am
I wrestle it much more as a parent. I want my kids to know that there is most definently a moment that we “choose” to follow Christ, but there are also a series of “choices” that we need to make to stay close to what His will for us is.
May 18th, 2009 at 6:43 pm
In dealing with people on their spiritual journeys, we look at two ways of evaluating where people are. We look at the Engle Scale of Evangelism (http://www.angelfire.com/bc/normanhousechurch/E...).
We also look at a Centred Set evaluation of where someone is spiritually rather than a Bounded Set as set out in Alan Hirsch's and Michael Frost's book Shaping of Things to Come.
May 18th, 2009 at 8:17 pm
Can I have a pastoral confession moment. There have been times when I've been talking with a child who totally gets it. I have no doubt that they're following Christ. However, when I asked them when they made a decision, they can't tell me when.
There have been a few times where I've said, “You know what? It sounds to me like you've got it! Would you like to seal it with a prayer so at the very least you'll know that on this day you were a Christ follower?”
Am I a bad person? This is my OCD pastoral tendencies coming out. You don't remember when you prayed the prayer? I know you're doing it, but we gotta pray the prayer.
Wow! How many times have I gotten in the way of something really good? Good thing God works around me as often as he chooses to work through me!
May 18th, 2009 at 8:45 pm
Kenny,
I won't let you make that confession alone. I've done that, as well. I don't think it's a bad thing, though. Maybe there is a way to frame it so it isn't perceived as a 'hoop' to jump through so much as a 'practice in confession'. Something they need to practice anyway.
Henry,
Thanks for the references. Love the Engle Scale. Have never checked out the Frost book. Will get a copy. I knew you'd come to the table with resources.
Jonathan,
It all boils down to a series of choices, doesn't it.