Comments on: Compare Game http://jabberfrog.com/2009/03/30/compare-game/ stop the madness... get to the point Fri, 02 Oct 2009 03:27:45 -0600 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: Joe Puentes http://jabberfrog.com/2009/03/30/compare-game/comment-page-1/#comment-5811 Joe Puentes Tue, 31 Mar 2009 04:15:03 +0000 http://jabberfrog.com/?p=701#comment-5811 The Compare Game - well I never suffer from this at all - it's too bad you guys have struggled with this :) ... Honestly though the compare game is one of the reasons why I read the book by Andrew Murray called Humility, every year... In student ministry, it seems there is a big "compare game" at times. Everyone is looking to see what the other guy is up too and wondering how big his or her youth groups is. When we have students go from our youth group to the other guy's for certain events and such, we ask the student to tell us "Insider info" so we can compare and see if we are bigger and better... It seems we all do it and I hate the fact that I do it too.<br><br>This even happens within departments i,e middle school -vs- high school. What's funny though is that since I'm the middle school pastor I benefit from a bigger cm because that means I will have a large incoming class. And I get satisfaction when the hs ministry is bigger, because that means we did a great job of building anticipation and transition with our outgoing students - which means I have a healthy ms ministry. So for me, at least from an internal standpoint, the compare game can be a positive thing at times.<br><br>Recently, I've been filtering through the compare game, because I'm taking over our cm and also becoming the family ministries director. Our old cm did an awesome job, but she is resigning because she is having a baby. Her (my) staff is worried about a lot of things, but it has been brought up that since I'm not a woman, how will I change things, or will I be sensitive to the things that women are sensitive to (I'm the first male cm that our church has ever had). I'm not even really thinking about that stuff, I'm thinking about the fact that I haven't been in cm for about 3 years, or the fact that I'm going from a staff of four, to a staff of 18 and etc... I really don't have the luxury of the compare game at this time, but I can see both the positive and negative of it...<br><br>Sorry for the long post, but I was just comparing my long post to that of JC...<br><br>Awesome topic!<br>Joe The Compare Game – well I never suffer from this at all – it's too bad you guys have struggled with this :) … Honestly though the compare game is one of the reasons why I read the book by Andrew Murray called Humility, every year… In student ministry, it seems there is a big “compare game” at times. Everyone is looking to see what the other guy is up too and wondering how big his or her youth groups is. When we have students go from our youth group to the other guy's for certain events and such, we ask the student to tell us “Insider info” so we can compare and see if we are bigger and better… It seems we all do it and I hate the fact that I do it too.

This even happens within departments i,e middle school -vs- high school. What's funny though is that since I'm the middle school pastor I benefit from a bigger cm because that means I will have a large incoming class. And I get satisfaction when the hs ministry is bigger, because that means we did a great job of building anticipation and transition with our outgoing students – which means I have a healthy ms ministry. So for me, at least from an internal standpoint, the compare game can be a positive thing at times.

Recently, I've been filtering through the compare game, because I'm taking over our cm and also becoming the family ministries director. Our old cm did an awesome job, but she is resigning because she is having a baby. Her (my) staff is worried about a lot of things, but it has been brought up that since I'm not a woman, how will I change things, or will I be sensitive to the things that women are sensitive to (I'm the first male cm that our church has ever had). I'm not even really thinking about that stuff, I'm thinking about the fact that I haven't been in cm for about 3 years, or the fact that I'm going from a staff of four, to a staff of 18 and etc… I really don't have the luxury of the compare game at this time, but I can see both the positive and negative of it…

Sorry for the long post, but I was just comparing my long post to that of JC…

Awesome topic!
Joe

]]> By: jabberfrog http://jabberfrog.com/2009/03/30/compare-game/comment-page-1/#comment-5810 jabberfrog Mon, 30 Mar 2009 20:29:25 +0000 http://jabberfrog.com/?p=701#comment-5810 JC,<br><br>You guys set the standard for rearranging your life to do what God asks of you. You can ramble all you want. JC,

You guys set the standard for rearranging your life to do what God asks of you. You can ramble all you want.

]]> By: jabberfrog http://jabberfrog.com/2009/03/30/compare-game/comment-page-1/#comment-5809 jabberfrog Mon, 30 Mar 2009 20:27:34 +0000 http://jabberfrog.com/?p=701#comment-5809 A woman's perspective, Kenny? Well, I doubt it's much different from a man's. We compare, but using different criteria. How well does she juggle home and work? I think women tend to take the Proverb 31 'scale' and compare our progress with other women. For those that appear to be better at the balancing act, we admire and secretly wish we could be more like them. For those that appear to be worse... well, we internally pat their heads and pray for their progress. <br><br>Male or female... we all agree, it's a dangerous game. A woman's perspective, Kenny? Well, I doubt it's much different from a man's. We compare, but using different criteria. How well does she juggle home and work? I think women tend to take the Proverb 31 'scale' and compare our progress with other women. For those that appear to be better at the balancing act, we admire and secretly wish we could be more like them. For those that appear to be worse… well, we internally pat their heads and pray for their progress.

Male or female… we all agree, it's a dangerous game.

]]> By: JC Riley http://jabberfrog.com/2009/03/30/compare-game/comment-page-1/#comment-5808 JC Riley Mon, 30 Mar 2009 20:07:39 +0000 http://jabberfrog.com/?p=701#comment-5808 Wow. Now I feel like crap. I always seem to be comparing. You're a better person than I. See, there I go again. :) This is a great topic. When I see others that seem to be loaded financially, I have to remind myself that I drive my kids to school often, take my daughters to breakfast once per week, have a wife willing to let me reorganize our lives to introduce people to Christ. I wouldn't trade any of these things for a BMW. However, I'm not saying I'd turn you down if you'd like to donate one to me. Of course, knowing Pepper and I, we'd probably sell it so we could some stuff away or something. <br><br>I have a two friends that were from different circles and didn't know each other well and I remember one time friend #1 was dogging friend #2 to me because friend #2 drives a porche. What friend #1 didn't realize was that friend #2 may drive a porche but gives away enough to buy a new porche every year and probably a higher percentage of total income than friend #1. <br><br>We should be happy to see others being blessed, then look at how God has blessed us. He did, just in a different way.<br><br>Sorry to ramble. this is your blog, so I'll shut up and get off now. BTW miss working with ya Wow. Now I feel like crap. I always seem to be comparing. You're a better person than I. See, there I go again. :) This is a great topic. When I see others that seem to be loaded financially, I have to remind myself that I drive my kids to school often, take my daughters to breakfast once per week, have a wife willing to let me reorganize our lives to introduce people to Christ. I wouldn't trade any of these things for a BMW. However, I'm not saying I'd turn you down if you'd like to donate one to me. Of course, knowing Pepper and I, we'd probably sell it so we could some stuff away or something.

I have a two friends that were from different circles and didn't know each other well and I remember one time friend #1 was dogging friend #2 to me because friend #2 drives a porche. What friend #1 didn't realize was that friend #2 may drive a porche but gives away enough to buy a new porche every year and probably a higher percentage of total income than friend #1.

We should be happy to see others being blessed, then look at how God has blessed us. He did, just in a different way.

Sorry to ramble. this is your blog, so I'll shut up and get off now. BTW miss working with ya

]]> By: jonathan http://jabberfrog.com/2009/03/30/compare-game/comment-page-1/#comment-5807 jonathan Mon, 30 Mar 2009 15:49:24 +0000 http://jabberfrog.com/?p=701#comment-5807 It's always been a dream of mine to post on a blog with the word Java in it... It's always been a dream of mine to post on a blog with the word Java in it…

]]> By: kennyconley http://jabberfrog.com/2009/03/30/compare-game/comment-page-1/#comment-5806 kennyconley Mon, 30 Mar 2009 14:37:19 +0000 http://jabberfrog.com/?p=701#comment-5806 Hey JC! Good to see you over here on JavaGina's blog. :)<br><br>Great post. I'd be really interested to hear from a woman's point of view. I know us men are competitive in nature and it's so easy to compare since our lives are one big competition. You know what I mean.<br><br>I always felt so awkward at CM conferences and meeting Children's Pastors I didn't know. I know that in the back of my head I was comparing, but I also felt this overwhelming sense that I was being compared. I felt like the first question I was asked by a new CP was, "how big is your church?" <br><br>I know that this is something we have to surrender over to God, but I'm just curious if this is primarily a guy thing or not. Being that there seems to be a larger number of women in the world of children's ministry, maybe this comparison issue is isolated to just us men. <br><br>Good stuff Jonathan. Hey JC! Good to see you over here on JavaGina's blog. :)

Great post. I'd be really interested to hear from a woman's point of view. I know us men are competitive in nature and it's so easy to compare since our lives are one big competition. You know what I mean.

I always felt so awkward at CM conferences and meeting Children's Pastors I didn't know. I know that in the back of my head I was comparing, but I also felt this overwhelming sense that I was being compared. I felt like the first question I was asked by a new CP was, “how big is your church?”

I know that this is something we have to surrender over to God, but I'm just curious if this is primarily a guy thing or not. Being that there seems to be a larger number of women in the world of children's ministry, maybe this comparison issue is isolated to just us men.

Good stuff Jonathan.

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