The Family:

How do we meet their needs?

My best strategy for helping this family is:

• Open communication – I make sure mom/dad know that open dialogue is welcome and necessary.
• Flexibility – our ministry divides kids (primarily) by age.  However,  many kids with special needs are not developmentally consistent with their physical age. I like to work with mom/dad to find the best option for their child.
• Follow Up – I’ve found that mom/dad are hesitant to move their child up.  Especially if they are doing well in the room they’re in.  However, I’ve learned that often mom/dad need that gentle nudge encouraging them to allow their child to eventually move to a new room with a new age group.  9 times out of 10 mom/dad are surprised at how well their child does.  So I set a reminder on my calendar to follow up with mom/dad anywhere from 6 to 12 months to visit this question.

Here is my philosophy:  If I believe there are no accidents.  If I believe God is the Orchestrator and the Creator of all things, then He crafted this family… one for the other.  This child was crafted (special needs and all) to bring glory and honor to God.  This child was created to love the Lord with all their heart, soul, mind and strength.  Then I want to figure out a way to let the children come to Him and not hinder them. (Matthew 19:14)

Fostering an environment where kids learn about Jesus can be a challenging task.  Introduce a child with special needs to the mix and the task can get a little more complicated. Some churches find themselves without a plan and (therefore) without a solution when this family arrives at their church.

I’ve been in kids ministry for a brief time, but in that time I’ve encountered a variety of special needs kids and their families. The most common things I’ve witnessed are…

• Parents – They need to know their child is welcome, loved and accepted.  Period.
• Volunteers – They need as much support and information as possible.
• Kids – They need consistency (and ditto bullet #1)

Each one is necessary for any family and their child but are vital for a child with special needs.

What is your ministries approach to special needs?

1. 3rd time is NOT a charm
2. I’m no more patient now than I was the last time I did this

Okay… so there are only 2 right now.  But I’m sure a 3rd is coming.

she has so many words to share every day.  too many to count.

a few years ago, when i only took one child to elementary school there were a few times I drove right past the school forgetting to stop.  my little son would be lost in thought in the back seat of the car and i’m not paying attention.

for the past two years i’ve been driving my two oldest to school each day.  it occurred to me today that i’ve never forgotten they were in the car as long as Josie is with us.  you see, she gets lost in her thoughts, as well.  the difference is Josie’s thoughts are rarely contained within her noggin.  instead they fill every ounce of space in the cabin of the vehicle.

so, while Josie is lost in her thoughts… the rest of us are drowning in them. 

i have to stay on top of a bible reading plan or i simply don’t stay in God’s word.  but i’ve found some to be more aggressive than others.  i use to balk at a reading plan that took more than a year.  that’s for wusses.

i’m half-way through a 3-month reading plan.  i love it.  but now that i’m half-way through i’ve got my eyes set on a chronological reading plan that could take me two years.  why?

reading the bible through in 90 days has given me a better glimpse of how things link together.  it’s easier to recall the things that happened in 2 Samuel and how they relate to 1 Kings when there is only a matter of days between the two.

but now that i’ve made those connections, i want a plan that allows me time to really soak it up.  if you don’t have a plan in place, check out this one.

if we serve a God that exists outside of time then the death of Christ is not necessarily something of His past.  but in some twisted way is still part of His present.

i don’t understand that.

does Jesus still hear the hammer pounding the nail?  does He still taste the gall on His tongue?  is God still watching every drop of blood trickle down the post?

and yet He looks at me and says I am worth it.

sobering

A man I respect told me that years ago.  It was a little bold for my taste but my son was less than 3-years old and it wasn’t really relevant to me at the time.

Six years later, it makes a little more sense to me.

Last August, just before school began we had my 9-year old in karate 3x per week, soccer 2x per week and church activities 2x per week… it was a lot to juggle.  But it didn’t stop there… he wanted to participate in the school chess club.  Add to that Josie’s soccer schedule (b/c at 6 we say the kids can play sports).  Even the Y sports require 2 nights a week.  Toss in homework and any attempts to have a ‘family night’ our schedule would quickly look stupid.

So Kyle and I devoted a date night to talking about our family schedule and how it should look.  We had to revisit the family values we established several years ago.

Are these values still relevant?

If yes, then how does our schedule reflect these values?

We discussed each activity and questioned our motivation behind continuing.  Is this an activity the kids should continue?  If yes, then what else in our calendar can change to accomodate?

It boiled down to simplifying significantly.  We eliminated karate for Keegan and soccer for both.  It opened up our schedule tremendously.  Now we spend the majority of our evenings together at home.  The kids have time to play after homework is done.  Dinner isn’t rushed.

And frankly, mom’s in a better frame of mind.  I want my kids to know a fun mom.  Not the mom that keeps the most efficient schedule in efforts to squeeze more than necessary into a 24 hour day.  That mom isn’t very nice… just punctual… or cranky when she’s not punctual… b/c she was late b/c her taxi schedule was packed too tight… you get the picture.  (a.k.a. the Crackberry Crank)

Are organized sports the enemy of the family?

Do guns kill people?

Just like guns, organized sports are inanimate, objective things.  They do not have feelings.  They are not vindictive.  They are not lurking around in alleyways hoping for the opportunity to hurt you.

But we have a very real enemy that will use any means necessary to distract us from the very thing that matters most in life.  I believe he will use organized sports to get in the way of your family.  You have to be wise about that.  Protect your time together.

Your family is the original small group.  The people God placed in your life to walk with you as you walk with Him.  But distractions erode your time together.  And seperation erodes relationships.  Eventually you’re just a group of people existing under the same roof.

I want more than that for our family.  So we’ll pass on sports for now.