i got on a rant today. someone asked for my 2 cents… i gave a little extra.
a friend receieved an email from someone asking his opinion on divorce. here was the question
Do you think it’s possible for God to allow a married couple (even after trying very hard to fix things) to fight so much to the point that they desperately want their single lives back, in order to make the point that He didn’t want them to be together in the first place?
i admit, i’ve never been in this place. i cannot speak from experience. but as a woman married for 14 years… here were my thoughts.
Whether God did or did not want them together at this point is no longer relevant. If you made the wrong decision at ‘square one’, He will not draw you back to square one to remake the decision. Instead He’ll start from where you are.
I would question how much they’ve worked on their marriage. How long? How have they invested? Counseling? Mentoring?
I have a seriously hard time believing that if they both truly wanted to make this work and were willing to throw off everything that hinders them in order to make it work that God won’t bless that. God is the author of “that lovin’ feeling”. So if they’ve lost it towards each other then they need to seek the only One that can give it back.
It’s not an overnight solution. It may take a long time. But they have no kids. They have only their jobs. From my perspective they’ve got a lot of free time to focus on the right things that will make the relationship work.
Whether or not God wanted them to become ‘one’ in marriage is irrelevant. They are now one. They need to do whatever is necessary to function as one rather than seeking validation to walk away from that.
like i said… my two cents. what would you say?
October 23rd, 2008 at 7:50 pm
agreed.
October 23rd, 2008 at 10:47 pm
I’m right with you. I wrote about volunteers who try to pull the God card in getting out of a commitment here: http://www.childrensministryonline.com/blog/-2-2-2-2/lame-excuse-the-gibeonite-deception/
It’s the same thing here. Go honors commitment and covenants. When we make that covenant (before God) that this is “forever,” then he expects us to live in that covenant forever. Marriage is hard work, even when you don’t deceive yourself into thinking you made a mistake. WORK IT OUT. In the end, you’ll have something really valuable, something you fought for and blessed by God because the covenant what honored. They won’t be in a loveless marriage. God is the author of love.
I could rant on this as well. Stay married!
October 24th, 2008 at 8:23 am
I am keeping that response to use at a later date, please don’t sue me for copyright. Your answer was right on, it was much better than what I would say. you know like man up and grow a pair ya babies
October 24th, 2008 at 8:59 am
As a woman divorced, I would have to agree as well. When you marry, you become one before God no matter the reason you decided to do so. So, why am I divorced? Though I grew up in the church…serving, praying, occasionally reading my Bible…I knew very little about God. I did not know that I only had to call on Him, and he would sustain me in every situation. I certainly did not know that you could actually have a RELATIONSHIP with Him. I did not KNOW Him…how could I be intimate with Him? Ahhh, but he knew me. And that was enough. I was already divorced when I learned this great truth. So, do I feel justified in my divorce? No way. I dread the day I have to explain to my children why I am divorced when I hold marriage so sacred. So, on the flip side…do I walk in shame and guilt? No way. I allowed myself to be branded with the label of divorce for a time (mostly through the judgement of others), but I was shown by great mentors that our Lord doesn’t want me to walk in bondage.
So Gina, dear friend, spread the word. I speak it to as many as I can…especially those who are hurting in marriage and ready to give up.
October 24th, 2008 at 11:36 am
I talked w/ a friend about this last night. He has a friend in a similar situation and I had just read this. I told him to forward Ginas reply on. Good stuff. And as my friend said, “It’s not a realationship problem they are having, it’s a God problem”.
October 24th, 2008 at 1:15 pm
“It’s not a relationship problem they are having, it’s a God problem.”
Very well said Jason!