Ryan recently commented on a post quoting kids ministry statistics. He asks the following question:
“I would think that a big part of kids decision to follow Jesus is their parents. How would you recommend getting parents involved in taking responsibility for their kids and train parents to disciple there kids? Most parents, including myself, have never had any type of model for what it looks like to disciple my children. What can our kids ministry do to foster this in ours kids home?”
Great question! I don’t claim to have the answer… but here’s my swing.
I think this question falls in line with a previous post about how to transition one from being fed by the pastor to feeding themselves. I believe it is in this transition that a parent will acknowledge and own their responsibility to lead their child spiritually.
As parents, it’s our responsibility to set the stage for our child to enter into a relationship with Jesus. We foster an environment that allows for the Holy Spirit to step in and transform their heart.
How do we do it?
The same way we grow ourselves as followers of Jesus. We talk about Him. We share what He is doing in our lives. How He is transforming us. What He is teaching us. How He is chipping away at ‘that which is old’ in order to see ‘that which has been made new’. Deuteronomy 6:6-8 says,
“These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.”
We talk to our kids about God as we go about our lives. As we talk about what He has done in our lives our kids learn the basic character of God. As they learn the character of God then a foundation forms. When they face trials later in life they know who God is and what He has done because they saw it in their parents.
That’s the best advice I have to offer. Hope it helps.
April 27th, 2007 at 8:03 am
Great post Gina! I totally agree with what you are saying.
From a kids ministry perspective, what practical ideas do you have about communicating this to parents? For our kids ministry, I can see a shift in the paradigm in that we are not leading kids, but leading parents. My current thinking is, the most effective thing I could do is to get mom and dad to see themselves as the ones primarily responsible for their kids discipleship. What are some ideas on doing this?
What are your thoughts?
April 27th, 2007 at 11:18 am
Ryan,
Where I am I have to attack this one parent conversation at a time. But at my church, that’s a whole lot of conversations and I’m behind the 8-ball already. We attempt communication through pamphlets, letters, e-news, website… the list goes on. But none of these things work very well. I don’t think it has anything to do with practical steps. I think it has everything to do with a cultural mindset.
Mentorship
Mentorship has to be incorporated into the small group environment within the church. If you can effectively incorporate a mentorship mentality into your small group ministry then you have a Paul/Timothy attitude that pervades your church.
You’ve got the elements right now. You have a group of people that just want to dig their hands in and ‘be the church’. Incredible. Teach them to mentor others. Teach them to always be looking for who God wants them to pour themselves into.
With this mind set it is easier to help parents see that the person God wants them to mentor right now is their own children. A child that has said yes to Jesus is a follower of Christ… just a little shorter than the rest of us!
I don’t have step-by-step. Wish I did. I just know that after a brief 6 years of ministry the best solution to ANY need that exists within the church is when one Christ follower helps a younger Christ follower in their pursuit of Jesus.
If we step back from this we will see that it is not just a kids ministry issue… it’s an entire church body issue.
April 27th, 2007 at 7:24 pm
I know of churches that invite parents and families into children’s ministry programming. This opens the door for strengthening of parent’s involvement in their child’s experience. Also, mainstreaming what is taught between adults and children helps. Then they have the tools taught to them as parents that they can focus on with their children. They all are learning the same truth and can apply it developmentally. We try to incorporate take home information for families to follow-up with at home for more in depth comversation. Don’t know how well this works. This is a great question. I really think it is a maturity issue as an adult and within their spriritual development. I like the mentoring idea. Workshops for parents could be an asset as well.
April 27th, 2007 at 10:02 pm
Thanks for your feedback, Michelle. I agree. Getting the parents in their kids experience goes a long way toward gaining their ‘buy in’.
The concept of mainstreaming what is taught among adults and children is a great idea. Dave Ferguson has a book (The Big Idea)centered around this concept… but I bet you’ve already that one.
April 28th, 2007 at 11:23 am
April 29th, 2007 at 8:12 am
Thanks for the two book recommendations. I am going get those two immediately.
Thank you guys for you ideas and sharing your thoughts. One thing that my wife and I are starting to do, and will encourage others to do is when we go out into our communities and serve, is to take our kids. This is a new thought for us. We always felt we could be more effective with out our kiddos around, but we are learning the opposite. Our kids, just by there realness, provide a connection that is natural and real. It is amazing to see what God can do through a child!